Devil x Witchery
by Bfghunter2
Summary: Voldemort has just caused the Apocalypse, sending four survivors crashing into a rating game. How will the three factions react to the return of God and how will the devils react to this new way of using magic? Lemons, slight crack, violence. Issei x harem, Harry x Harem.
1. Chapter 1

Devils and Witchery

Harry Potter and Highschool DxD crossover.

A/N: yeah, my last attempt at this flopped majorly in my attempt at a crack fick so this one will be taken more seriously but Luna still bring crack to it.

In each chapter the chapter title and various other things such as quotes will reference something well known, whoever gets at least 5 references first and gets them right (as in where they are from) gets to pick 1 thing they want to happen in the story and I'll add it in. Still give large reviews please :D

Harry: Devil

Hermione: Nekoshu (Neko Neko Nii!)

Luna: God (Um, this isn't going to end well is it?)

Ginny: Phoenix (yeah, she's gonna be the Yakitori's main ire isn't she.)

Chapter 1: it's the end of the world as we know it.

"It's over isn't it?" Ginny croaked as the survivors of the second great war sat inside what little remained of the great hall. Harry had done it, Voldemort was dead, if only they had known about the sick bastard's backup plan. A apocalyptic level rune grid build around the world tied to his life force. The blast that was building up would destroy reality itself in less than a minute and they couldn't stop it, Voldemort literally had A Gun Pointed At The Head of The Universe and he'd just pulled the trigger.

They were the last 4 remaining light sided people in wizarding Britain or any sided for that matter. Luna, Hermione, Ginny and Harry himself. Fred and George were taken out by a collapsing Wall, Molley and Arthur died fighting the Lestranges and Ron was killed defending Lavender Brown from Frenrir Grayback. Percy, Bill and Charley had died a few days earlier in a raid on the Burrow and Fleur's magic killed her not long after the death of her mate and Husband. Neville died killing Nagini and saving Luna, taking the bite meant for her. Susan and Hanna were mauled by the Acromantulas and Hagrid was torn to shreds by a Bombards from McNair. Remus and Tonks were killed by Bellatrix before Molley got her and the less said about what happened to McGonagall the better.

"It'll be over soon, just stay close." Luna whispered as she pulled her childhood friend closer to her. Harry had done the same to Hermione who was crying into his shoulder. "The loli-Dragon will be here soon but not Kahna she's off eating bugs."

"You're such a goof." Harry replied fondly as Luna clasped his hand.

"Please, don't let go." Luna begged with tearfilled eyes. Harry nodded as the sky began to crack and they fell into white oblivion...and kept falling.

"Please keep all Hands feet and tails inside the ride at all times. The exits are here, here, here here here here, EVERYWHERE!" Luna stated, gesturing all around them in a voice reminiscent of a female robin Williams as they fell into the void. "Enjoy the ride!"

"What's happening?!" Harry cried as Ginny shrieked in fear.

"We're falling between worlds, it's the area Apperation happens in!" Hermione replied as they fell yet rose and went sideways yet backwards in the void.

"Oh goodie! Hold on and brace for impact!" Luna called as they suddenly appeared rather high up in the sky above a academy which was in the middle of a green void with a Aurora affect going on. They all screamed in fear as Luna cried "Bombs away!" Far too joyfully. Instead of smashing into the ground like they expected, they being without their wands asides ginny found themselves being lowered gently to the ground by a old dorm room.

"Where are we?" Hermione asked looking around as harry tightened his grip on the Sword of Gryfindor which he had no idea where it came from.

"Unexpected players on the Field." A woman's voice rang out of nowhere yet everywhere.

"A rating game. Odd normally they don't choose a human area for this stuff." Luna stated curiously.

"Luna, what's going on?" Ginny asked as she fingered her wand nervously.

"Let's ask." She smiled and walked over to the door and opening it, she lead them through several floors before knocking on one at random. It opened revealing a hesitant looking buxom red haired teen and a girl who looked like a well endowed female version if harry, both in school uniform. "What's up Doc?" Luna asked, chewing a carrot she got from nowhere.

"Who are you people?" The red haired teen demanded. All four mentally agreed she looked a LOT like a young Lily Potter.

"Oh, we're travelers. You see the dark lord of their world blew up their reality, and we fell into this pocket dimension by accident." Luna stated cheerfully. "These are my friends Hermione, Harry and Ginny. My name is Luna Lovegood and to those watching this in the stadium," Luna smirked looking up at a corner of the roof. " you all know me as God. That's right God is a Girl and I'm back baby!" She then fistpumped.

The two teens looked terrified and even the phantom voice from earlier gasped.

"You see rumors of my demise were greatly exaggerated, I simply got bored so I left a note on the fridge and went on vacation for a few hundred years." Luna shrugged as if it was perfectly normal.

"How can you be God?!" Hermione demanded in shock.

"Riser's [Pawn] Retired"  
"Riser's [Pawn] Retired"  
"Riser's [Knight] Retired"

"I can because I am." Luna shrugged chearfully. "Now Akeno-chan and Rias-chan fear not, for I hate you not. I'm actually peaceful most of the time, it's my dumb son Michael who hates devils, in fact, I once dated the original Lucifer and I was great friends with Lilith. We used to hunt for Crumple horned Snorlax actually. Oh and sorry, this will hurt guys." She sadly added to Ginny and Hermione. A split second later they cried out in anguish as their bodies changed. Hermione gaining cat ears and a tail while Ginny gained wings of fire.

"Hermione, Ginny!" Harry cried and cast a wandless numbing charm on both of them. "Luna what happened?!" He asked, panicked as the devils looked on in shock.

"They each had a substance in their bodied which had a delayed reaction to the energy of nothingness in the void. The cat hair Hermione used in the potion in your second year had integrated into her system and it appears Ginny's body was still working through Pheonix tears Falks gave her to heal her cuts earlier." Luna explained in a way that suggested it was obvious. " Miss Greyfia can you please call time out?"

"No."

"Oh pooh." Luna pouted as she crossed her arms. "Do you mind Rias-chan if we help you? After all these games always have the Mercenary rule in play, how many pieces are in use?"

"Myself, my [queen], a [knight], [Rook], [Bishop] and 8 [Pawn] pieces." Rias replied. She knew Riser couldn't complain as not two of his matches ago when Ravel and Yubelina were sick he used mercenaries half way through the match.

"Harry, your worth a [bishop] or [Knight], Hermione too, Ginny is worth a [Rook] so I'll sit aside for know. Have fun." Luna smiled serenely before she vanished into particles of light.

"Bad god! That's my microph-Hey!" "Make them pay for the snorlacks!"

Many sweatdropped at that, especially Ginny who was probably more use to it than the others.

"So, what's this all about?" Harry asked while still supporting his two remaining friends.

"I'm trying to get out of a marriage contract with this other devil called Riser." Rias stated bluntly as she crossed her arms under her chest. "The only way to do so is to beat him in a rating game since the only other way failed for me the other week."

"Anything making it harder?" Hermione panted.

"He's got control of fire, a numbers advantage and has an insanely high healing factor." Akeno stated bluntly as she licked her lips, oggeling Harry.

"Aguamente." Hermione stated with a snap of her fingers." It makes a jet of water. My bluebell flames can burn anything bar fiendfire and heavily enchanted objects and Ginny's bat bogey hex can even explode heads if she wants."

"Good, I know we just met but why are you helping me?" Rias asked.

"We were in a arranged marriage too." Ginny stated, gesturing to herself then to Harry."Neither is us wanted it as he saw me as a sister and I'm more interest in the same team if you catch the meaning. It took a LOT of work to get out of the damned thing."

Suddenly there was a loud explosion.  
"Rias [knight] Retired"

"Kiba." Akeno gasped.

"Go, they'll need your help." Rias ordered. "Asia, get in here, you need to stay close." A small blond girl in nun clothing who looked a LOT like Luna walked in looking starstruck.

"Was she really God?" Asia asked with wide eyes.

"Yes I am, Asia Argento. I never considered you a witch or Heretic. You have my permission to pray to me without harm befalling you." Luna's voice rang out.

"Thankyou!" The blond cried with a tearful smile.

"That opens up a new strategy." Rias stated. "Asia if they get close, please start to pray."

"But what about you?" Asia asked in concern.

"I'll be fine."

"Riser 6 [Pawns] Retired." Grayfia called.

"Sounds like your winning." Ginny stated.

"Riser [Rook] retired"

A loud explosion sounded through the field, much more violent then before.

"Rias [Queen] Retired." 


	2. Chapter 2

Devils and Witchery

A/N: thanks for the reviews so far guys and girls, I appreciate the feedback. Like I say, I always like long reviews so send em my way!

Chapter 2: Perverted Baka and Loli power!

Asia looked conflicted. On one hand, she wished to stay and protect her master Rias, on the other she didn't want her friends to suffer. It was a hard choice. Rias wasn't much better. Akeno was her oldest friend and first peerage member, now that she was hurt, she didn't know whether to go for revenge or call back all her peerage to protect them better.

A pained grunt got her attention, the new arrival who looked like a less busty her, Ginny, had shackingly stood back up, her wings of fire wrapped protectively around herself. The brunette Nekoshu Hermione was still panting in pain while Harry, the Raven haired, green eyes wizard kept applying different healing spells, none were as effective as what Rias knew Asia could do but the progress was visible, if very slow.

Suddenly the door was ripped upon revealing a cocky looking ginger haired man with a perverse leer on his vistage.

"ASIA NOW!" Rias barked, covering her ears in preparation for the oncoming assault.

"I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." Asia recited, her hands clasped in prair as a holy glow of gold emminated from her now normally gray and pink aura as Luna spoke along with the Priar, making Greyfia cry in pain. Rias winced being so close to the aura while Riser flopped on the floor, wailing in agony as he clawed at his ears in an effort to stop the pain, what Rias wasn't expecting was the similar reaction Harry was having. She though he was Human, he sure felt like it when he arrived but before she could ponder more, Riser Vanished.

"Riser Retired" "Fuck yeah!"

With a red flash they found themselves back in the clubroom much to the confusion of the world travelers.

"W-What in the name of Merlin's left nut?" Harry groaned in pain as Luna appeared in a gale of golden feathers and a flash of golden light. The god instantly knelt down besides him and placed a turnip slice on his forehead causing him to sigh in relief.

"Turnips, so nasty they even disipate excess Holy energy. It's while I prefer Radishes." Luna stated absently as she helped the young man into a sitting position. "You know, I do Blame Lily for this."

"What does his mum have to do with this?" Hermione asked, tears in her eyes as her tail sat limp and her ears flat. A brow eyed version of Harry known as Issei had a blood nose at the sight while Koneko walked over and tugged her sleeve before hugging the taller girl. Koneko knew how it felt to be helpless when one you loved dearly suffered, Rias knew that it was why Koneko refused her true name Shirone, the emotional pain was too much.

"I was her Friend, Lily's true name was Lilith, my first attempt at a human Female, NOT Eve, she is actually Lily's Daughter who Adam fancied like a Nargle does mistletoe." Luna remarked seriously. "Geuss he was devil enough for it to hurt him. I know!" She exclaimed, having a Eurika moment. She snapped her fingers and a gold box appeared on her lap.

"What are those?" Ginny asked, casting sidelong glances at Akeno who grinned sulterly back at the redhead.

"His Evil Pieces." Rias gaped, recognising the energy signature that all evil pieces gave off as a default.

"Yep. Congratulations harry. Your a Devil." Luna chirped as a older, black haired version of Rias and a Red haired man appeared looking nervous and concerned.

"Mummy...father." Rias sneered at the second. She could never forgive him for the stunt he pulled with Riser. He flinched.

"Want me to bless him for you?" Luna asked brightly. The older devil looked about ready to shit his pants while his wife looked bemused.

"Maybe later." Rias waved it off as she glared down her father. "Why are you here?"

"Princess...I" Lord Gremory began.

"Out!" Asia ordered. "You made Buchou cry you meany!" Rias knew of course Asia was refer in to the time she and Issei found her crying in the study of the mountain lodge during their training.

"WHY YOU..." Lord Gremory began only to be slugged in the jaw by Issei.

"LEAVE HER ALONE!" He snapped in anger. NOONE and I mean NOONE got away with yelling at Asia or Rias.

[YOU TELL HIM PARTNER!]

"Ddraid?!" Luna cried out before she began to beat on Issei with a rolled up newspaper she grabbed from a table as he sobbed on the floor. "BAD! BAD BAKA HENTIA OPIA DRAGON!"

Many looked on in shock and horror as they watched God beat the crap out of Issei with a rolled up newspaper and reduce his sacred gear, the Red Dragon Emperor's Boosted gear to tears of fear.

[Never peak on loli gods. Never peak on loli gods. Never peak on loli gods.] Ddraig uttered, traumatised.

"LOLI? WHO ARE YOU CALLING LOLI?!" Luna cried in anger at the hysteric dragon gear as fire burned in her eyes and a tick mark formed on her head. "I'M A FUCKING WAIF NOT A FLAT CHESTED LITTLE GIRL!"

She was brought from her rant by the sound of someone eating crisps. It was a violet haired, grey eyed, emotionless Loli.

"Ophis." Luna frowned. They all backed up slowly in shock, asides Asia who was healing Issei and the dimension hopping travelers who had no idea who this was.

"God." The LOLI replied with no emotion as she sat atop the table. "Help...Want Baka red gone. Want silence."

"That requires me or you to kill everything and not even I bother with big red, he's too stubborn." Luna huffed, cupping her breasts. "Harry, are my breasts too small?" She asked in concern.

"Uhhh...no?," was his reply.

"Oh thank me." Luna sighed in relief.

"Why not go into space? The muggles say there's no air so no one can hear you scream." Ginny stated, Hermione bopped her head.

"No, Bad Ginny!" Hermione hissed like a cat."No H.R Gieger horror for you!"

Ophis and Luna blinked before both in tandem facepalmed at how simple the answer was.

"Thankyou Phoenix witch." Ophis stated before her eyes shot to harry. "Mate." She stated simply before sitting on his lap and continued to eat her crisps.

Hermione hissed loudly. "My mate! My Harry!"

The devils were frozen in fear while harry was frozen in shock. The first for the fact she HISSED at the infinite dragon god, harry for her admission. Ginny and Luna didn't care. Ginny was busy oggeling Akeno while Luna returned to wailing on the perverted red dragon emperor and Ddraig.

Ophis stared blankly at Hermione for a few seconds before dragging Hermione onto Harry's lap too. "Our mate."

Many did the only reasonable thing. They fainted, including harry and Hermione. Ginny caught Akeno on reflex while Asia slumped onto the passed out Issei. Luna huffed in anger. She now had more annoyances to deal with. Baka dragons.

"Okay! Harem! Harem! Harem!" Luna chanted gleefully. Issei began be crying the unfairness of it not being him while thanking Luna for being such a "Fellow Pervert." Needless to say, Luna could slap rather hard if she wanted. 


	3. Chapter 3

Devils x Witchery

Chapter 3: Parent guidance and deciding where to stay.

After Rias's father left (read fled in terror) with her mother the room was soon back to dealing with the two most powerful beings in the room, God Aka Luna M. Lovegood and Infinite dragon God Oriboris aka Ophis. Luna's constant chant of "Harem! Harem! Harem!" earned her the unofficial title of Ero God from Ddraig which resulted in another beating with a newspaper and cries of "BAD BAKA HENTIA OPIA DRAGON!" and "BAD DEVIL BAKA HENTIA!" needless to say Issei held his tongue when Akeno asked to have a harem to "punish all my bad Kohis." as she said.

Ginny had instantly volunteered.

"You, Pervert." Ophis noted absentmindedly as she emptied the last of her crisps before looking at Koneko who was eating a pack a cookies. "Cookies?"

"Mine." Koneko deadpanned. She was always very possessive of her sweets.

"Baka cat." Ophis muttered lowly before deciding to poke harry in the cheek repeatedly at a slow pace.

"Okay," Luna sighed explosively as she finished wailing on Issei and Ddraig. "Where are we going to stay? I'd of said Heaven but even the air there would kill Harry, Atlantis sunk when Ddraig and Abilon got drunk and trashed it. Can't go to Greece, Zeus is still mad at me for sleeping with Athena and Asguard is a no as I HATE Thor. I'm not allowed in China after Lucifer and I got annoyed at the lack of good fruit pies and threatened the local gods and I HATE no, LOATH the dimension gap, it's why I let Ophis live there."

Ophis nodded once before she continued to poke harry in an effort to wake him up. She was more than use to God and her weird ways, such as killing off a lot of Egyptian sons because of slavery and also Bitch slapping Thor for hitting on her. Ophis knew Luna only had three male lovers throughout history. A Englishmen called Nickolis Claws who became immortal when he was 70, Prince Ogaris of Atlantis and King Arthur of Camelot. Now if her suspicions were right, her mate would soon be number four. Why else would she bring Harry with her? She absently wondered if he would prefer this human form or a older bustier one she kept from time to time, after all she knew 99% of humans didn't find dragons fuckable, the other 1% were very weird to say the least. She knew it was the same with God. Her true form was a golden orb of light with Golden wings and she knew God had 'outings' with humans as a human, particularly females at least once a month unless she really liked someone, then she stayed a fair bit longer, she did stay by Joan De Arc's side until the poor girl's death where she then made her an Angel and still served in heaven as a soldier.

"Wuzzit?" Harry uttered lethargically as he brushed Ophis's poking finger aside and slowly sat up.

"Oh good, your up. Now let's get this sorted." Luna stated aloud. "Miss Gremory, may they stay in this territory for a bit while I'm off in Heaven for the next few days, gotta Kick my son's ass and contact the church."

"As long as they don't cause trouble." Rias replied bluntly.

"Easily. Trouble finds them." Luna half joked before vanishing how she appeared, a golden flash and lots of golden feathers.

"Be back." Ophis stated before she vanished with a purple flash leaving behind no clue she was there asides a empty pack of crisps.

[THANK MERLIN! I can see again, uh, why is my perspective from waist height? Boys, Where are you?! Arthur? Ginny?!] Everyone looked to where Ginny was, her eyes wide in shock at the AK green glow attached to her left wrist. The reality jumpers recognised the voice as Molly Weasley.

"Mum?" Ginny croaked out in disbelief as tears of joy ran down her face. A note appeared in a golden flash on the table. Rias picked it up and read it.

"Okay, right to the point, You each have been given a sacred gear to be close to a loved one. Have fun Luna?" Rias read in confusion.

Ginny broke down sobbing as she hugged her arm. The girl was nearly hysterical with joy that she could still be close to her mother, despite how much of a prude her mother is that is.

[AH WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!] Sounded rather loudly from a orange glow on Hermione's throat. She passed out onto Harry's chest, muffling the panicked female voice.

[What the? Agh, Damnit LUNA!] The voice of Harry's mother rang out from his right arm. He to fainted, falling backwards into the chair.

Akeno started rubbing Ginny's back while Asia attended Harry and Hermione.

Rias found she suddenly developed a tick in her left eye at this. Luna just HAD to do it now, didn't she? Issei however had developed a blood nose at the sight of Akeno rubbing Ginny's shoulders and Kiba kept glaring at the spot Luna vanished from.

It wasn't until much later that everyone had calmed down. Ginny had wrapped her arm in a spare towel from the showers to muffle her mother's rants about 'Scarlet women' and 'Dangerous dark creatures' upon seeing Rias and Akeno who had her wings out to try and teach Harry while his mum explained everything to him. Hermione however was currently trying to undo the memory charm she placed on her currently Hysteric mother who insisted she never had a daughter and she was Australian. It took a two hours to finally undo the memory charm which lead to the spirit of Emma Granger fainting inside the sacred gear which turned out to currently appear as a thick Egyptian style necklace colored gold with an amber colored gem at the center. No one was surprised the intelligent young woman was able to access her sacred gear before the rest after Harry explained what she was like, especially in libraries.

"It's getting kind of late." Issei stated scratching the back of his head. "I need to get home with Asia before mum panics."

"Actually Issei-kun, could you take Potter-san, Granger-san and Weasley-chan with you?" Rias asked him as he grabbed his and Asia's bag. "If their friend is going to do what I think, it's best your parents know about the supernatural as soon as possible before she shows up out of the blue."

"Uh, but I thought we agreed it was so they would freak out?" Issei asked.

"Yeah, mum and dad are really nice, I don't won't them to worry." Asia pouted sadly. Ever since she had moved in with Issei his parents insisted she called them mum and dad. Poor oblivious Asia however thought they were just friendly, as did Issei oddly, Rias however, recognising the looks they gave from her elder brother and father and knew that they wanted Asia as a Daughter-in-law.

"Okay...if your sure." Issei muttered in worry as he glanced back at the witches and wizard/devil. "Come on, it'll be a long walk as I don't think you can all fit on my Bike like Asia could." 


	4. Chapter 4

Devil x witchery

Thanks for over 100 Followers and 70 Likes! :D to all those who have commented thankyou for the feedback and I do keep in consideration what you request. For the next chapter which I will post I would like input from you readers on how Issei's parents react and how they get convinced about the supernatural.

Also for those who did ask the pairings will be as follows:

Harry/Hermione/Luna (god)/Ophis/Gabriel (Angel not the veela)/Kuroka/Serafall.

And the other main one will be:

Issei/Rias/Koneko(shirone)/Asia/Xenovia/Irina/Roswisse(gave up with the spelling Autocorrect hates this name)/Tiamat/Ravel/

And finally:

Akeno/Ginny/Aika. (This pairing I have dubbed the perverse trio as they will basically be similar to Issei's original group of friends asides the peeping.

Also here is the rundown on the sacred gears:

Ginny: a defensive only shield of near indistructable metal that when it reaches Balance breaker can return damage to whoever strikes at it.

Hermione: an Egyptian style collar that in it's base forms allow one to remain hidden easier by muffeling their signiture and when it achieves balance breaker allows them to hide completely undetected even by Carde class angels.

Harry: a simple clawed blue and gold gauntlet with a dagger with a red ruby embedded in the crossguard slotted in the back. It's balance breaker extends the gauntlet up the arm and the dagger becomes a full fledged sword and allows the user to scry almost anywhere on Earth by peering into the ruby.

AN: yeah, all 3 of these are based off of one show or another. Bet you can't geuss which is which! ;P 


	5. Chapter 5

Devil x witchery

To all those who enjoy this story thankyou for your support! As already requested via PM Bill Cipher will appear some time during the story as the requester did name 5 references in one chapter therefore the request was honored. To those who didn't do that little tibit well sorry but this was to ensure there was no mindless spam and you're at least reading this story.

Chapter 4: Explaining the supernatural

As the bike was sadly non-optional due to the additional three people and lack of secure room to set up a perminant transport circle in the house they decided to walk to the house. Apperation was out entirely as it was too risky in this new dimension and none of the reality travelers brung their brooms so dissalusion and flying was out.

Asia it seemed was really interested in the fact they were friends with God and Ginny grew up with her. She was really shocked when she turned God was opposite to what the bible generally portrayed them as. Luna was a fun going, hyper, waif of a girl who apparently was 99% gay, something the church discouraged. Asia paid no attention to that, she did worship God but she was appalled that the church would allow such atrocities to happen to people simply because they had magic, even if it was in a different reality to hers. Hermione had at one point began to carry the sobbing girl however when the topic of how Issei died was inadvertently brought up in front of the park when Harry asked if it'd be quicker to cut through it.

By the time they had reached Issei's house, the sun had set. It was a modest 2 story house with a medium sized front lawn and garage.

"Come on, mum usually makes loads of food and I'm sure your hungry." Issei beckoned them to follow him. "Mum, Dad, I've brought guests!"

"In the kitchen honey!" A woman called out. "Your dad's running a bit late, trouble with the Photocopier at work."

"Okay, mum meet my new friends, they just moved to town." Issei explained, trying to put off the talk of supernatural as long as possible. He wouldn't put it past his mum to faint or his dad to make a damned pun. "Mum meet Harry, Hermione and Ginny, their friend Luna is currently busy with family matters." He mentally sweatdropped, for the ruler of heaven, she sure was hyper, he expected a serious old guy with a white beard and long hair, not a blond waif.

"Nice to meet you!" She chirped happily. "I'm Hitori Hyodou, please call me Hitori." She smiled happily as she pulled out extra plates. "Asia dear, could you please get out the cutlery, Issei get the glasses, you three makes your selves comfortable."

"Sure mum!" Asia grinned happily as she began to help out. Hermione, began rummaging through her moleskin pouch and pulled out her favorite book, Macbeth by Shakespeare. Ginny was busy marveling at all the muggle appliances and asked what the strange box with rotating dish was that was humming loudly. Harry had then been forced to quietly explain about Microwaves and how they cooked food quickly for people in small amounts, he did often have to use them to make the gravy for Christmas dinners with the dursleys, not that he'd get any of it.

It was then that a firmilular voice rung out. "Hitori, I'm home!"

Harry and Hermione's hearts caught in their throats. Ginny fainted. Standing there, sitting a hat on a coat wrack was a very serious Sirius.

"Something sure smells...good." Sirius stood there shocked upon seeing his godson and his friends. "Pup?"

"Padfoot!" Harry cried, tackling his dogfather into a hug. "You're alive!"

"How are you all here? You didn't get tossed through the veil too?" Sirius asked in worry, his wife and son walking back in to the odd sight. "I was sure I'd never see you all again."

"Dad, you know them?" Issei asked, shocked.

"My godson and his friends from Britain." Sirius replied.

"He knows about everything. Well, magic anyway." Hermione replied.

"Magic?" Hitori asked in confusion.

"Well, I solemnly swear I am upto no good." Sirius stated proudly with a dog like grin as harry moved back.

"You Sirius are insane. How did you even survive? Harry saw Bellatrix hit you with the killing curse for Merlin's sake!" Hermione lectured.

"Blacks are natural Necromancers, thus Avada Kadavar doesn't work on us." Sirius replied as he sat down at the table. "Hitori, honey please sit down, it's time I explain some things to you. First of all, I am a Wizard and not just in bed either." He snickered before Issei groaned and slammed his head into the table, mortified at his father's statement. "Young miss weasley who had passed out and miss Granger here are Witches, harry here is a Wizard."

"Devil actually, as is Asia and myself." Issei stated, his head buried in his arms.

"What do you mean, like pitch forks and fire?" Hitori asked terrified.

"No, that was the old Satan faction. The new Satan faction is more a democracy." Issei shrugged. "I became a devil when my ex, Yuma or as I later found out, Raynare," he spat, "killed me and Rias revived me as a devil."

"So, that smoking hot girl is the devil? MY SON IS SO MANLY!" Sirius cried joyfully but quickly yelped when he was hit with a bright yellow and wandless stinging hex from Hermione.

"A devil actually." Asia smiled politely as her wings unfurled, glad Rias had erected a notice-me-not ward around the house for anything out of the ordinary. "Buchou and Issei saved my life when I was killed by Raynare-sama for my sacred gear which has the ability to heal anyone."

"Oh my." Hitori uttered while Sirius whistled in appreciation.

"Bet you could fly pretty well with those things huh?" Sirius asked.

"A, a bit." Asia blushed, remembering her failed attempts of flying and how no matter what she always seemed to land and Issei, even if she was outside and he was inside the cabin.

"So, devils and real...my son and Asia are devils and your godson." Hitori muttered in shock, unable to believe what she had just heard, "who was Raynare you both mentioned?"

"A fallen angel who tried to kill us both for our sacred gears." Issei gritted his teeth in anger, he was still plagued by nightmares about her.

"What's that?" Hitori asked again. This time Sirius answered.

"Gifts from god." Sirius stated automatically before his eyes whent wide and he covered his mouth. "Y-you're all okay?"

"Turns out their friend Luna is God and she is letting us pray and everything! Our Lord is so kind!" Asia gushed happily.

Sirius snickered mischievously. "Man Azazel must be shitting himself!"

And how right he was. Azazel was currently in his basement, in the corner rocking back and forth in fear. "Never peak on loli gods. Never peak on Loli gods. Never peak on Loli gods."

End chapter.

Yes Sirius is back! Hitori now knows of the supernatural and it appears Azazel made the same mistake as Ddraig, maybe this should be a running gag, what do you all think?

"Never peak on Loli gods." Make it a running joke or not? 


	6. Chapter 6

Devil x witchery

Okay...the results is unanimous, "Never peak on Loli gods" is now the running gag of this fic, much like "Opai Dragon" was for the show and lite novels...hehe poor Ddraig, now he needs aspirin for the headaches it causes.

People have asked about firmilulars for the harry potter verse characters. Only two have been decided.

Hermione: a snarf

Ginny: Dragon (not too sure which one, maybe Tiamat)

Harry: unsure maybe Bill Cipher, imagine the poor Fallen Angels suffering for the kind of pranks they'd come up with.

Sirius: unsure

Luna: (does god even need one? Seriously I am stumped on this...maybe a Crumple horned Snorlak or maybe a quintaped...)

Chapter 5: I fart in your general direction!

Hitori was was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown at all the new things she was learning. Heaven, Hell, Christianity, Shintoism, Nordic, every religion prior to 1732 was real (apparently the Illuminati was something a demon known as Bill Cipher started for shits and giggles and Cthulu Mythos was just the result of the son of Budah on drugs and hallucinating.) Her son, her only child was apparently a squib devil which when Hermione explained it, Asia said it made sense with how poor his magical reserves were, he had them but the pathways were completely blocked and he couldn't use it. Hermione had revealed her cat appendages with a slight blush as she cuddled into Harry's side. That lead to her husband explaining.

"You see, half animal beings such as Nekos, Yokos and Merfolk tend to have a 'mate' a person who they connect deeply on the soul level of things, they can only ever be happy with them and be with them, their nature won't allow any different." Sirius explained simply. "It's why I pestered you so much." He grinned sheepishly before taking the form of a Grimm, it was all too much for his wife and Hitori fainted, her face slamming into her dinner, spreading pork and beans all over her face.

Sirius whined sadly and sat, his head on his paws. Issei's jaw dropped.

"Padfoot, you've done it now." Harry shook his head.

"Reparo, Evenate." Hermione incantated using Ginny's wand, fixing the cracked plate and reviving Hitori with the second spell.

"Wha?" Hitori snorted, shooting upward and quickly whipping the food from her face.

"Huh? Wazzit," Ginny mumbled as she slowly sat up, blinkly away the sleep. "Where are we?" She yawned.

"Sirius's place." Harry replied as his dogfather shifted back to normal, or as normal as Sirius could get.

[Meanwhile in Heaven]

Luna hummed happily as she skipped towards the front of the que at the gates of heaven. A man in Nazi uniform was at the front.

"Next." The attendant. St. John droned, not looking up from his papers. "Adolf Hitler?"

"Yes, I am he." The short angry little dictator replied snobbishly.

"Congratulations on getting into heaven for killing Hitler." St. John congratulated blandly.

"Killing Hitler? But I AM Hitler!" The dictator snapped.

"Yes you killed Hitler Mister Hitler, the most hated person in modern History, congratulations."

"THAT IS STUPID! HOW DID I GET INTO HEAVEN FOR KILLING HITLER I AM HITER! THAT MEANS I KILLED MYSELF!" Adolf shouted in complete and utter anger.

"Oh, thankyou for pointing that out. VIP section for you." St. John smiled minutely. Luna facepalmed as Hitler threw his arms up in anger and stormed through the gates, clearly having given up the argument. There was a reason she preferred nuns rather than priests.

"Take a break john." Luna sighed.

"Name?" He asked, not looking up.

"God." Luna replied with an eye roll.

"Of thankyou." The man sighed. "Been on shift since 1831 when St. Peter fell over his scroll."

"Okay," Luna sighed, cracking her knuckles and flicked her wrist, the line decided in two. "Okay, now line one shall..."

"'Urry up you silly English girl!" An obnoxious French knight called. "Or I shall taunt you a second time!"

"I'm god you stupid Frenchman, what are you doing out here anyway? Didn't you die in the 1400s?" Luna asked.

"None of your business! I fart in your general direction! PFTHHHHH!" He blew a raspberry. "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

"DIE!" Luna cried in anger, tackeling the Frenchman to the ground and began to slap him silly with overly girly slaps as the Knight did the same. The others rolled their eyes, long used to the Knight's antics, he rejoined the line every few years or so.

[Back in Kouh]

Issei sighed and his father sneezed.

"Oi! Who just slapped the Frenchman?!" Sirius barked. (get it?)

"Padfoot, your drunk, aren't you?" Hermione sighed.

"No." He replied quickly.

"Dad, you're a horrid lier." Asia sighed, drooping at how he was. Issei groaned rubbing his head from his headache, why was today so weird?

As if to prove a point for the universe, Sirius belched a flame, a telltale sign of firewhisky, where he got it was anybody's geuss. 


	7. Chapter 7

Devil x witchery

Chapter 6: School

Hitori looked annoyed at her husband as he demonstrated the use of his old wand, a 12 and a half inch Dogwood with Grimm fur wand he had since he was 17 and his psychotic cousin's fiancé snapped his old one (12 inches, Dogwood with dragon heartstring). So far he had turned the dinner mats into bubbles, levitated her dress, the pervert, Turned into a shaggy dog, Changed the table a bright red and gold and destroyed that ugly vase she'd been trying to break for months as to not hurt her sister's feelings.

"I'd apperate but I don't fancy loosing a leg, the devil magic around the town screws with mine." Sirius explained with a careless shrug. He then turned to harry. "So pup, did we win the war and you're not on vacation?"

"No." Harry muttered, shaking his head. "Voldemort the bastard, he destroyed everything, luna Identified it as a doomsday rune grid, he literally destroyed everything."

"Mother fucker!" Sirius snapped.

"Lord forgive him." Asia prayed out of habit, a soft golden glow enveloping her form briefly. Harry and Issei were quickly on the ground withering in agony, Holy aura striking at their nerves like a crucio from Voldemort and Bellatrix combined, Issei would later compare it to being covered in paper cuts, swimming in molten concentrated hydrochloric acid and having the Kendo club beat the shit out of him for a month straight aiming only for his nuts.

Hermione was quickly hugging Harry delicately as to not harm him further, Asia began rapid apologies and Ginny conjured a small vile and cried into it, figuring as she was a human Pheonix hybrid then she may have healing tears. Sirius could only use an Incarcerous on his son to stop his thrashing as he knew his magic had little effect on Devils due to how saturated they are with magic anyway.

"Asia, shush." Issei groaned pitifully as he twitched from such a close proximity prayer he had to endure.

There was a muted gold flash and a cut up turnip appeared. Remembering the results from last time, Hermione placed one on Harry's forehead, making him sigh in relief. Hitori quickly did the same for her son Issei.

"Asia, please be more careful." Sirius stated. "I'm being seriously Sirius here."

Hitori cuffed him around his head hard. She got sick of that joke by her third date with him. It was at this time a second golden flash happened and Luna appeared.

"Miss Lovegood?" Sirius asked in shock.

"Oh, hello stubby Boardman." Luna replied distantly, as if she was looking right through him, and probably was.

"Its Luna alright." Sirius groaned, slumping. "Why do you always insist that I'm my cousin?"

"I do?" Luna asked, genuinely confused. "That is most odd, anyway I just had a small chat with my wayward son." She smiled a bit too cheerfully.

[Heaven, 30 Minutes earlier.]

Luna marched er...skipped towards the main hall of heaven, twenty golden wings had sprouted from her back with how focused she was on disciplining her son Michael. She reached the front door in no time and literally kicked them open. "HONEY! I'M HOOOOME!" She called loudly, vocational bags in her hands and a black hat on her head, giving the impression of mouse ears.

"KAAAA-SAAAAAAANNNN!" Cried a blond missile who tacked her into a tight hug, tears in her eyes.

"Gabby my little girl!" Luna grinned brightly,of all her children, Gabrielle and Castielle were her favorite daughters, Azazel her favorite son, no matter how big of a pervert he was, that didn't mean she wouldn't introduce him to a frying pan though for him, Abalon and Ddraig peeking on her in the hotsprings back in 1231. "Look at you! Still my precocious little snorlak aren't you?" She giggled.

"Michael-sama said you died! How are you back mum?" Gabby cried happily as tears ran down her face in a steady stream.

"I went on vacation and I'm going to have some rather naughty words with him okay and I don't want you to copy them, understand?" Luna asked seriously. Gabby nodded in agreement, she had heard her mum rant before, she had no idea what a "cockbite" or a "Bastardized cunt-face" was but neither sounded very nice. "MICHAEL GET IN HERE NOW!" Luna screamed at the top of her lungs making the entire hall shake.

A scared shitless angel in robes with silver wings flew in from a side hall nervously and looked like he was about to turn tail and run at the sight of Luna. Luna was quicker and grabbed his ear like a human mother would a misbehaving child.

"OWOWOWOWOW!" Michael cried in pain as Luna brought him towards her throan and sat down, placing him on her lap, ass up.

"MICHAEL YOU [Redacted] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] HOW DARE YOU LIE TO THE HUMANS AND MY LITTLE GABBY I WILL [REDACTED] YOU WITH A [REDACTED] WHILE I [REDACTED] [REDACTED] YOU AND [REDACTED] [REDACTED] PURPLE HAT!" Luna screamed, each word was punctuated with a swift slap on the angel's bare ass leaving the man crying in pain and embarrassment by the end of it as half of heaven had gathered to see what was going one, many were ecstatic to see their mother again, many more however were wanting to have some rather choice words with Michael for telling them she was dead but all of them winced at the spanking, Nobody but nobody wished to get her to that stage, it was said to be worse than falling from grace according to Azazel who had experienced both, the former on numerous occasions. Poor, poor Azazel.

[Issei's place, current time]

"So, you're God?" Hitori asked, not sure weither she should bow or cross he heart like she had seen nuns doing.

"Yep, I am God but please, just call me Luna." The blond smiled whistfully before looking at Asia. "Yay one of my wives is here!"

"W-what? But I have to remain pure to serve you?" Asia asked in confusion, still confused as to how she hadn't been smote yet.

"That was my son's ideology Asia." Luna waved it off. "Nuns are essentially my own private Harem."

"WHAT?!" Everyone cried in disbelief.

"Don't believe me? The bible is actually just a bunch of Porn." Luna stated with wiggling eyebrows and a perverted grin. "Including Vore, BDSM, devine sex and others." She giggled perversely.

"MUM/HITORI BUY ME A BIBLE!" Sirius and Issei beged at once.

"NO PORN!" Hitori snapped, cuffing them both around their heads, her so was soon on the floor crying in dispear and Sirius was becrying how unfair she was and how he should of married that Kitsune he met in a bar in Kyoto. 


	8. Chapter 8

Devil x witchery

Okay, first off for this chapter, this is part 2 of school aka chapter 6 (or 7 if you include the chapter of notes). Now, onto the way of sacred gears, Harry's is the sword of thundera like many of you got right (no Hermione's not from simbad the anime) Ginny's wasn't guessed at all but it is Captain America's shield and as to Hermione's sacred gear, it is based off of the amulet from yugioh, the Millennium Necklace in terms of design and has the Japanese sub-ability as the main instead of the ability to see future events as on Hermione, that's useless with how she hated that sort of thing.

Chapter 7: School part 2

It was ten minutes before Luna finished explaining what was going on with heaven, namely how her other children got back at michael, making Sirius, Hitori and Ginny fall on their asses laughing up a storm. After all, the mental image of a girl who chose to look no older than 12 spanking a man looking 20 or so years old was hilarious and even more so when he was tarred and feathered by his younger siblings regardless of actual circumstances. Asia and Hermione were doing fish impressions and Harry sighed fondly, Luna will be Luna no matter what apparently.

"You know I do believe this could work I'll need to contact the four satans for it but I do think a permanent truce could work." Luna stated, having pulled some notes out of thin air. "Since the water balloon fight my moron of a son escalated into a war there has been no real trading meaning I can't get any more underworld fruit and underworld fruit is my second favorite food."

"What's your favorite then milady?" Asia asked curiously.

"Pudding." All the magic users deadpanned while Luna chirped happily at the subject.

"Pudding?" Hitori asked. "Should I fear for my stash then?"

"Of course you should, Nargles do love pudding." Luna stated before glaring in a certain direction, to everyone it looked as if she was glaring at the corner if the room. "Excuse me Cypher, this is a private moment." She growled and a purple triangle shaped rift disappeared that they hadn't noticed. "HE is the reason I hate both Doritos and Top Hats."

"O-kay..." Hitori muttered in confusion.

"Oh, here." Luna stated handing Harry, Hermione and Ginny some papers. "I got you enrolled in Kouh Academy with Issei, figured Harry would better adjust to being a devil with another new devil and I can't keep Hermione away from school. Ginny needs the social interaction."

"Luna, you are the BEST!" Hermione cried happily, tackling Luna into one of her famous rib breaking hugs.

"He he," Ginny giggled perversely. Hitori suddenly fealt as if she had found her son's female double, especially with how the girl's hands were positioned.

[Bad Ginny! I will NOT have my daughter act like a scarlet woman!] Molly shouted loudly.

"Uh, who was that?" Hitori asked in a strained voice while Sirius ducked for cover, recognising the weasley matriarch who wasn't one to mess with. Asia and Issei sweatdropped, why did her mum have to be so mouthy?

"Just her mum. You see I didn't want my friends without a connection to their home so I did what I believe was best, I took their parent's souls and put them in devices called sacred gears which then went in their souls. By the way, Harry I found these while in yours." Luna stated, holding up a green rope on energy. "Someone had bound your magic, maliciously from the color of these things."

"Voldemort?" Harry growled.

"Dumbledor." Luna shook her head. "That man was always up to something. I believe he wanted you to die so he could kill Voldemort, 6th year obviously changed that."

[ALBUS DUMBLEDOR WAS A GREAT MAN! HE OBV-] Any further ranting from molly was suffocated out by a teatowel hastely wrapped arround Ginny's arm by Hermione.

"That sounds ethically wrong." Hitori shook her head why Sirius went on a full blown rant with Hermione.

"I'm just gonna cut to tomorrow. Less headaches and capitals." Luna sighed, shaking her head.

[Tomorrow, Kouh Academy]

After the rant had been averted and everyone settled, they had began planning for school. Ginny and Hermione could both speak Japanese, Nekos had that as an automatic along with speaking cat and Ginny being a Phoenix understood every language. For harry he had to rely on his devil heritage, unfortunately he could not read Japanese and was forced to rely on Hermione and Ginny, Luna was off in Heaven sorting out the mess her son left while negotiating a peace treaty with the Satans. Needless to say she got along well with Serafall to the shock of the others.

"Where are we?" Harry asked in confusion looking at the road signs, he lamented that he should of paid more attention to his surroundings last night.

"Two more blocks harry." Ginny stated after briefly checking the signs. They had decided to walk, allowing Asia and Issei to take the bike while Sirius left an half hour before them to get to work, apparently he worked as a consultant at a local branch of Microsoft corporation.

"Hey, she looks a lot like a young Tonks, doesn't she?" Hermione mused, pointing to a young woman with a fluro pink pixy cut working at a Café.

"Heh, yeah." Ginny snorted, the woman however was obviously not Tonks as they knew she couldn't change her height and this woman was way too short.

"Poor Sirius if she was though." A voice too similar to a certian annoying robot from Pandora spoke.(1) When they looked around, they didn't see what could of been the source of the voice, the street was practically deserted asides the Cafe and even then, it was too far away for the voice they heard. Little did they know, a certain scheming dorito shaped demon hitched a ride between the pages of Harry's books.

They got to school shortly after that only to find Issei, a skinny nerd type and a bald jock running from a group of girls in gym clothes carrying wooden swords.

"Idiot." They sighed in English as they watched Harry's god-brother get chased by the vengeful girls before heading off for Class, Ginny breaking off to follow Koneko who she was in the same class as.

Eventually they got to the room 2-C, their homeroom for the next year, somehow Issei had gotten there first. Well, it was more to do with Hermione getting sidetracked upon seeing the library.

The teacher, a brown haired woman noticed them. "Please come on in. Class today we have two new students from Britain. Please introduce yourselves."

"Hello, my name is Hermione Granger or Granger Hemione over here. I went to a elite boarding school in Scotland before the School was closed down due to terrorists earlier in the year, I enjoy studying and chemistry. Please treat me well." Hermione bowed, using the story Luna told them to use as it was what she wrote in their enrollment forms.

"Uh, hi. I'm Harry Potter, er...Potter Harry? I went to school with Hermione for the past 6 years and enjoy sports and self defence courses. I am also Issei's god-brother through his Father Sirius who is my God-Father and we are currently staying with him along with our Friend Ginny who's family died not too long ago." Harry stated clumsily with a slight bow. "Please treat me well?"

"OH KAMI 9 INCHES!" A black haired, flat chested girl around 5 foot high with her hair done in pigtails cried aloud(2), falling over from the force of her blood nose. Suddenly all the girls were looking at Harry with large blushes and hazy stares, this only increased with what she said next, "not even erect, that'd split me in half..."

"My harry." Hermione growled, grabbing his arm possessively. Both she and harry wondered why this Universe was so damned perverted before putting it down to Luna. This however seemed to do little to deter the girls.

"Harry stop hogging all the Opia!" Issei called enviously.

"DIE FORGIAN PRETTY BOY!" Matsuda and Mohama cried in anger.

"Quiet and sit DOWN!" The crimson cheaked teacher ordered, sneaking a glance at Harry's pants descreetly, or trying as the two devils and Nekomata in the room noticed making Harry uncomfortable, Hermione annoyed and Issei, predictably jealous. Yep, just another day in the world ruled by a perverted god.

End.

Annotations:  
1 does Bill Cipher sound like Claptrap or is it just me?

2 this is Aika, the perverted Princess in case you didn't figure it out. 


	9. Chapter 9

Devil x Witchery

School part 3

As the lesson dragged on it became rather apparent nobody was paying much attention. The girls of the class were constantly shooting glances at Harry while the perverted trio were planning retribution or peaking, it was hard to tell.

"..ah and that's why its a matter of uh...penis. ER! Opinion! I mean opinion!" The teacher snapped out of her daze in utter embarrassment by her statement while the class blushed brightly at her slip up and some giggled pervertedly, mainly Aika.

"Why me?" Harry groaned, slamming his head into his desk. Hermione sighed shaking her head, this teacher was just as bad as Lockhart with distractions.

Luckily the bell signaled the end of the double period forty minutes later and a beatroot red Harry was dragged out by Hermione after the Teacher once again slipped up.

"Honestly!" Hermione huffed." A teacher is supposed to teach not oggle my Harry!"  
"Hey! Granger-chan, Potter-chan!" Kiba called aloud, ignoring the squealing fangirls. "Bouchu wants to speak with you."

"Uh, sure." Harry shrugged.

"There better not be any Yakitori." Hermione gagged. After hearing what had happened last night from Issei and Asia about what happened before the rating game they crashed against riser, she had been put off of her favorite Japanese food indefinitely, it was just too disturbing what the ginger malfoy wannabe did.

Kiba gave a small sigh, that was what Akeno said earlier in the day and he agreed. Curse issei and his stupid analogies, now he wasn't allowed his favorite lunch or Koneko would literally throw it off of school property and had already done so leaving him with rice and lettuce with sauce. "Well Hopefully" he thought, "buchou has some ham and bread in the fridge."

[With Ginny and Koneko]

It looked entirely too adorable to many of the students how Koneko rode on Ginny's shoulders around the school like a toddler. To the supernatural of the school it just looked weird, a Nekomata riding a Phoenix girl around at least Ginny now knew who was aware of what they were. The student council, two teachers and...is that Ophis? Nah, couldn't be she's too old to be the Loli dragon god ...right?

"Ginny." Koneko stated, gaining her attention. "Hurry. My cookie senses are tingling." He blank face somehow looked grim but ginny wondered what in the world were cookie senses?

[ORC Clubroom]

Jasper who had snuck out of his coffin briefly to find a snack suddenly had an impending sense of doom wash over him making him shriek and drop the plate of cookies now reduced to crumbs on the floor before fleeing for his coffin, getting in just as Ginny and Koneko arrived to see the smashed plate and crumbs.

Koneko frowned before putting a duck hunting hat on her head and picking up the magnifying glass Akeno used to check for fleas in Koneko's cat...and Koneko...sometimes, okay bi-monthly.

"Eh?" Ginny asked in confusion.

"Come. Find thief, get me more cookies." Koneko put bluntly, using her took strength to drag the half Phoenix girl along with her deeper into the abandoned dorms. Kiba, Harry and Hermione arrived just as they left and Rias arrived via magical circle.

"Right now we just need to wait for," Rias was cut off by a buzz from her phone, it was a text message from Jasper, not that anyone else knew. "Change of plans..." She sighed, closing her phone. "Someone stole Koneko's cookies and she's dragged Ginny with her."

[Five minutes later, behind the gym changing room.]  
The perverted trio was currently up to the usual. Peaking on the girls changing in the locker room, this day however, Mohama bought a plate of cookies with him. Unfortunately, Koneko and Ginny found the, needless to say Mohama was now afraid of fire and Matsuda was covered in snot, Issei was shoved through the windows and now enduring the worst torture ever, Boken repeatedly to the balls by a group of very enraged girls who may or may not of had their boken subtly enchanted with the stinging hex by Ginny without their knowledge.

[Underworld]

Serafall was being...well Serafall. She was currently twirling around her large private room occasionally stopping to look at her TV. On it was a single repeating scene of the current head of Clan Lilith, Harry Potter. How he showed compassion towards the Nekomata and Phoenix girls annoyed her slightly but oh well her grandfather and Harry's deceased nephew the previous head of clan Lilith set up a marriage contract for the most powerful of house Sitri and lord Lilith. She swooned dramatically with a giggle as she mentally began to plan their wedding but first, she was going to visit God who was apparently his friend about the process of asking said handsome hunk on a date. She giggle, oh she could barely wait! Unknown to her, Hermione suddenly hugged Harry's arm tightly unsure as to why she was suddenly dealing so possive of him, well more than what now constituded as normal. 


	10. Chapter 10

Devil x Witchery

Chapter 9: a peculiar class

As the week dragged on many rumors began flying around about a new class. Sona looked damned annoyed and was caught verbally tearing Saji a new one when he tried to ask if she was okay. The principal who they knew was Lord Gremory looked terrified which didn't bode well. As it turned out, the only devil kings who had no clue what was going on were Harry and Rias who despite both having a natural High-class rating, Harry from his mother, Rias as she is the Heiress of house Gremory, they were left out of the loop, Harry because he didn't know anyone to contact about it and Rias was because of her father being spiteful.

They quickly found out that the class was only open to the supernatural and supernatural aware, or would inevitably be involved with the supernatural upon arriving. Rias and her peerage, Sona and her peerage, Harry, Hermione, Ginny, Aika Kiryuu(who could somehow see through clothing) and two second years they had seen chasing issei with broken before. They were murayama and katase from the Kendo club. The two girls kept shooting glares at Saji and Issei for obvious reasons. The door was soon opened by a blond woman in white robes who looked a bit ditzy.

"Please come in." She smiled calmly while waving them inside. "Okay, take your seats." She smiled cheerfully as she wrote on the blackboard a single name. "Good morning class I am Gabrielle, this class has been set up for anyone involved in the supernatural, or will be."

"Is this a joke? Seriously fake angel wings and everything." Aika snorted. "I get the student council and ORC having a running joke with devil wings and Granger and toujou chan wearing fake cat ears and tails but this is just weird."

The class looked at Aika in shock and disbelief. The Kendo dou looked as if she was joking.

"Nani?" Koneko asked, tilting her head to the side. "You can see that?"

"Er, she can see through glamors? Even ones this powerful?" Hermione asked in shock.

"Weirdo." Katase muttered.

"The Pervert has been watching too much porn" murayama agreed.

"Uh, she is correct you know." Gabrielle stated cluelessly as her Halo and Wings materialized scaring the two girls. "I AM an angel mum sent me with permission from Ameratsu and Serafall to give classes to those involved in the supernatural or have Sacred Gears, Holy or Demonic Swords or are not human. Aika is a succubus for example while you," she added, pointing to Katase" have the sacred gear Twice-critical" issei and Ddraig snickered, the dragon felt sorry for Acreon who was afraid of females, no matter the species. "And you Murayama, you hold of all things Flash-step, a sacred gear that manifests in a pair of boots, they allow vast increases in your leg speed but only for brief seconds."

"Oh kami..." Katase groaned. "What is going on?"

"I think I shall start introductions." Sona stated standing up. "My true name is Sona Sitri not Souna Sitori, the rest of the student council are all resurrected Devils and former humans, they've all joined of their free will."

"I am Rias Gremory." Rias stated "I decided to not change my name as the paper work was atrocious." Katase and Murayama rolled their eyes, typical Rias always trying to skip work. "The queen of my peerage is Akeno here," aika suddenly had a blood nose at whatever her perverted mind came up with as Akeno gave a small giggle. "My Knight Yuuto Kiba and Rook Koneko-"

"Shirone." The small Nekomata spoke up, holding onto Hermione's hand tightly. "I'm, Shirone."

Rias's eyes went wide and tearful before she lunged forward, wrapping the smaller girl in a hug who was also crying.

"We missing something?" Issei asked, harry just shrugged. He had no clue but obviously Hermione knew too.

"Uh, okay what's that about?" Murayama asked in confusion.

"It's...complicated." Rias sighed as Hermione continued to rub the shorter girl's back. "Ko-shirone, didn't have the best childhood. When she was barely five, her parents were killed by a hydra, she was abused and her sister went insane when she was twelve, my brother found her a year later and I've been caring for her since. She Kiba and Issei are all people forced into my peerage due to life threatening situations, extreme malnourishment for Koneko, bloodloss for Kiba and Issei, both from critical wounds. I have one other member of this small family but he's a shut-in and is terrified of others because of his abusive grandparents and his abilities." Harry's fists clenched at that, he abhorred abuse, he never wanted what he suffered to happen to anyone, not even Voldemort.

"Geuss I'm next." Hermione stated, noticing Harry's look of rage and Ginny's horrified look. To the magicals in their old world abuse was worse than the unforgivables as most families had few, often one or two children so each one was precious. "I'm Hermione, half Witch, Half Nekomata, ",at this point, her ears and tail became visible. " I went to a school for witches and wizards with Ginny and Harry up until last year when the school was destroyed by the magical terrorist called Voldemort, aka Tom Riddle."

"I'm Ginny weasley, last of my family, I became half Phoenix when I almost died during the battle of Hogwarts, our old school, thanks to Fawkes the old headmaster's Phoenix." Ginny introduced, her winds of fire now prominently visible.

"Harry Potter, I'm half devil from my mum's side and half wizard from my dad. I've died twice before, neither time was pleasent. First time was from a Basilisk, second time was from the killing curse." Harry stated. "I don't have a peerage and I honestly don't want one, I won't have slaves, no matter how nicely or like family they are treated, I was practically one growing up anyway." He muttered the last part, unaware all but the two humans in the room heard him. Ginny practically tackled him into a tight hug as did Hermione and Issei patted his shoulder.

Katase and murayama looked on confused while Gabrielle whipped away tears, muttering about needing a boxing bag and an angel-safe alcoholic drink.

End.

Okay vote time,

Should Katase and Murayama be in a peerage, yes or no? And if so who's? Also how should aika take the news she's a succubus and is she full or half succubus? 


	11. Chapter 11

Devil x witchery

Chapter 10: karaoke and Ophis

As expected it didn't take long after the conversation's start before the kendo duo fainted and Aika getting a idea decided to tackle Ginny, a lustful look in her eyes. The poor Phoenix girl was torn, on one part, Aika was a utter pervert and even flatter than Ophis. On the other hand, Aika was a succubus and from the crash course Ophis gave, Succubus in this world mated for life and could sire and bare children, something she liked as she did want a small family when she was older. Another positive was despite being considered plain, Aika was rather gorgeous and had a air of innocence, somehow, that turned her on also...Aika was obviously Bi if the looks she gave Rias were any clue.

"Wanna...go...on...a...date~?" Aika asked sensually. Issei and Saji suddenly found their heads hitting the floor due to blood noses at that question.

"Er, m-maybe?" Ginny stuttered, her face as red as her hair. She hadn't been this embarresed since she put her elbow in the butter dish.

Aika suddenly was jumping up and down excitedly, her hair flying everywhere as she squeeled with joy. "YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! HAHAH! WOOOOO!"

Gabrielle sweatdropped, extremely glad she sound proofed the room.

"Um, okay?" Rias raised an eyebrow as Asia who had remained quiet until now pouted at Rias for not mentioning her but couldn't blame her, she was overjoyed that K-Shirone, chose to use her real name. It brought a smile to her face at the thought that even after all her hardship the Neko-devil could be happy.

"Evernate. Evernate." Hermione shot two spells at the kendo girls who awoke to the sight of a squeeling and laughing aika and the non-humans.

"It wasn't a dream?" Katase gulped nervously while Murayama had her eyes fixed on Gabrielle's wings.

"Well tonight we'll be at the Karaoke club, club Rosebud on 5th street to help you adjust." Gabrielle explained with a small smile. "As Harry has lived like a human the longest according to mum he'll help you get into the club, something about the old poster of Mickey mouse and 9 & 3/4 whatever that means."

"Er, where is that exactly?" Harry asked aloud, he still had trouble navigating the town.

"Ara ara harry." Akeno giggled. "Did my bad kohai forget about the maps I taught him."

"I'll help you all then." Gabrielle rolled her eyes slightly. Why did her mum say she should date him again? She wasn't gonna believe the whole "it's for an alliance" thing nor would she believe "magic" is a suitable answer.

[Later club Rosebud]

As the 'advanced talents' class arrived in small groups they quickly found a small bar run by an Ogre and a talking donkey of all things called Shrek and surprise surprise, Donkey.

"Right," Shrek spoke into the microphone. "First up, miss Lovegood singing, The Hero."

With a blast of golden light and feathers Luna appeared on stage.

"Hello everyone!" She chirped bowing comedically. "I am Luna Lovegood, the christian God, I dedicate this song to you Harry Potter."

She grinned and pulled down the microphone slightly before she began to sing, rock music playing in the background loudly.

"ONE PUNCH! 3... 2... 1... Killshot! I'm here for fun I'm number one (What are you saying?) (Frustration!) (No one can stop me!) One punch! That's it! I always win!

(Listen to me!) (Victory again!) Power... Get more power! Last minute limit counting - 3... 2... 1... HERO! Don't wanna hear you calling out my name I'm not here for fortune and fame HERO! Instead, I'll fight knowing nobody knows my name... (Nobody knows who he is!) My foes are closing in and covering the sky! ...But I won't turn my back tonight! HERO! I'll stay - until I taste the dirt of defeat someday... Unleash my fist! HERO! 3... 2... 1... Fight back! Push on, prepared, fight fair and square (Whats going on? All of my foes are gone) Let justice last No questions asked (Give me the heart, to cut through the dark and win!) Power! Get more Power! Adrenaline is flowing through my brain Power! Get more Power! With discipline and every hour that I've trained HERO! The tallest mountain started as a stone I once was weak but now I've grown HERO! I know, the weakness within is my greatest foe Push on! The mortal man I used to be has died There's god's inside my fist tonight HERO! I'll stay until I taste the dirt of defeat someday Unleash my fist! HERO! Unbreakable, Unyielding Draw the future in my mind No matter what the cost At any day and any time Hero day and night! Soaring proud and high! HERO! Don't want to hear you calling out my name I'm not here for fortune and fame HERO! Instead I'll fight knowing nobody knows my name Push on! The mortal man I used to be has died There's god's inside my fist tonight HERO! I'll stay until I taste the dirt of defeat someday Unleash my fist! HERO! HEROO! AHH! AHHH! AHHHH! AHHHHH! I'm gonna be the strongest HEROO!" As she finished, jets of sparks shot out behind her, bewildering everyone as there was nowhere on the small stage to hide pyrotechnics.

"Uh...God everybody!" Shrek declair after snapping out of his stupor while Aika, Katase and Murayama gaped in awe and shock. THIS WAS GOD?!

"Next up is Aika Kiryuu singing, I kissed a girl and I liked it!" Shrek called loudly.

The perverted girl shot up to the stage and twirled before grabbing the microphone as Luna sat down next to her daughter who was looking embarresed.

"This is for you Ginny!" Aika called loudly.

"This was never the way I planned Not my intention I got so brave, drink in hand Lost my discretion It's not what, I'm used to Just wanna try you on I'm curious for you Caught my attention

I kissed a girl and I liked it The taste of her cherry chap stick I kissed a girl just to try it I hope my boyfriend don't mind it It felt so wrong It felt so right Don't mean I'm in love tonight I kissed a girl and I liked it I liked it

No, I don't even know your name It doesn't matter You're my experimental game Just human nature It's not what, good girls do Not how they should behave My head gets so confused Hard to obey

I kissed a girl and I liked it The taste of her cherry chap stick I kissed a girl just to try it I hope my boyfriend don't mind it It felt so wrong It felt so right Don't mean I'm in love tonight I kissed a girl and I liked it I liked it

Us girls we are so magical Soft skin, red lips, so kissable" Ginny by this point was beyond embarresed at this but did sport a goofy grin" Hard to resist so touchable Too good to deny it Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

I kissed a girl and I liked it The taste of her cherry chap stick I kissed a girl just to try it I hope my boyfriend don't mind it It felt so wrong It felt so right Don't mean I'm in love tonight I kissed a girl and I liked it I liked it!"

Suddenly with a violet flash of light Aika glowed brightly, buttens flew and pains ripped as her breasts and hips grew, her waste becoming more curved and her red once pale and thin were now plump and peach in color. A pair of short black horns grew fro. Her head and purple unclawed bat wings grew from between her shoulder blades. It was at this point Saji and Issei fainted due to blood loss and Akeno and Ginny were drooling lustfully.

"What?" Katase and Murayama asked shocked.

"She went through her maturation." Sona stated, pushing her glasses up. "Succubus remain plane looking until they mature emotionally enough for a relationship then they become the epitomy of beauty, releasing a targeted scent that makes their mate or mates drool like idiots, it appears Akeno and Ginny are her mates."

"Er?" Murayama asked, confused.

"She gets sexy then her soul-mates drool like morons." Kiba stated bluntly.

"Right, next up, Shirone, singing Chewy Chewy!"

The small Nekomata toddled up to the microphone, passing the stumbling Aika on her way up, the succubus not yet used to her new attributes.

"Chewy chewy Chewy chewy My heart is chewy Chewy chewy Chewy chewy I'm only looking at you

Your words are slightly cold Your face is slightly unfamiliar But your looks are so innocent It's so unexpected

My eyes keep going to you My hands keep going to you My feet keep going to you I am already being pulled to you

a yo! you! The feeling I get from you, I like that I feel that there's a lot to you, you're so tight Where have you been hiding?  
Will you come closer to my side?  
As soon as I saw you, my heart dropped You keep appearing in my dreams every night Rated-R, rated-R The more that happens, the more my heart gets…"  
Many were openly shocked when Koneko began to age, becoming a beautiful silver haired teenage girl that given her age of 16, was obviously her true look.  
"This chewy feeling I really can't help it My eyes grew bigger, my lips are red Oh my oh my You're right in front of me Should I start talking to you first?

Chewy chewy Chewy chewy My heart is chewy Chewy chewy Chewy chewy I'm only looking at you

My eyes are slowly opening My lips are slowly opening My heart is slowly opening Without knowing, I'm going to you

I feel the others shaking too How can they not tremble when they look at your face?  
I keep getting pulled to you

This chewy feeling I really can't help it My eyes grew bigger, my lips are red Oh my oh my You're right in front of me Should I start talking to you first?

step it, where are you looking?  
step it, stop being so careful step it, do what you want step it, what do I do with my chewy heart?

This chewy feeling I really can't help it My eyes grew bigger, my lips are red Oh my oh my You're right in front of me Should I start talking to you first?

Chewy chewy Chewy chewy My heart is chewy Chewy chewy Chewy chewy I'm only looking at you"

Many had dropped jaws as a now blushing Loli Nekomata who was now a busty teenage girl with silver hair, tail and cat ears in a shrine maiden outfit. They were too shocked to notice the coy look she shot Issei before she returned to her "normal" Loli look. They snapped out when a purple flash signaled the appearance of the dragon god, Ophis.

"Hi." She stated before she picked up the microphone and began to sing in a soft voice that wouldn't sound out of place in Celtic folk songs.

"Our hero, our hero Claims a warrior's heart I tell you, I tell you The Dragonborn comes

With a Voice wielding power Of the ancient Nord art Believe, believe The Dragonborn comes

It's an end to the evil Of all Skyrim's foes Beware, beware The Dragonborn comes

For the darkness has passed And the legend yet grows You'll know, you'll know The Dragonborn's come

Ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-hah Ah-ah-hah-ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah"

She placed the microphone in the stand neatly before climbing down from the stage where she landed and sat on Harry's lap, eating a pack of crisps she got from somewhere ignoring the applause. "My mate?"

"Er, yes?" Harry asked, he'd gotten used to the Loli dragon goddess and found she was fun to be around, so long as you didn't say dreams was better than infinite that was.

Everyone bar Luna was shocked as Ophis quickly became a busty young woman in a intricate lolita dress.

"It was you." Koneko stated, referring to the girl they noticed in the halls. Ophis simply nodded as she hugged Harry, dragging Hermione in for one too before kissing them both on the lips. If they weren't passed out already, Issei and Saji would be up in arms.

The kiss was interrupt by shouts of "Harem! Harem! Harem!" From Luna.

"Up next it's-"

Chapter end. Lol I'm gonna get flames for that.

Vote:

What songs and for who? Keep in mind I will use English translations of it as there is no way in hell I'm writing Dovah using English characters or Korean, Japanese or Mandarin either.

Also, quick update to the peerage.

Harry: King.

Hermione: Queen.

Kuroka: Bishop

?: Bishop

?: Knight

Murayama: Knight

Hitori: Rook

Katase: Rook.

?: Pawns 1-8 


	12. Chapter 12

Devil x Witchery

"Blah" During segment 1, Sona singing 'Blah' During segment 1, Saji singing '"Blah'" during segment 1, both singing.

Chapter 11: Saji and Sona

"...is Saji and Sona with Neutron star Collision!" Shrek called loudly.

Sona walked primly onto the stage, blushing heavily as was Saji.  
(Song 1)  
"I was searching"  
'You were on a mission'  
"'Then our hearts combined like A neutron star collision"'

'I have nothing left to lose'  
"You took your time to choose"  
'"Then we told each other With no trace of fear that

Our love would be forever'"  
'And if we die'  
'"We die together And lie, I said never 'cause our love would be forever'"

'The world is broken'  
"Halos fail to glisten"  
'You try to make a difference But no one wants to listen'

"Hail,  
The preachers, fake and proud Their doctrines will be cloud Then they'll dissipate Like snowflakes in an ocean"

'"Love is forever And we'll die, we'll die together'"  
'And lie, I say never 'cause our love could be forever'

'Now I've got nothing left to lose'  
"You take your time to choose I can tell you now without a trace of fear

That my love will be" '"forever'"  
"And we'll die"  
'"We'll die together'"  
'Lie, I will never'  
"'cause our love will be forever'"

(End song 1)

In one smooth movement, Saji swung Sona around, pulling her into a kiss which she returned. Tsubaki was cheering Sona on while Issei was cheering Saji on.

"You go girl!" Luna called happily. She didn't get on well with Sona all the time, she was too uptight but Luna did want her to be happy as she was Rias's friend and she liked Rias.

"Now, we've got Issei singing...I am NOT reading that...man what the heck's that even say?" Donkey called while Shrek handed out the meals Gabrielle had ordered before hand. Salad for her, Rias, Akeno and Sona. Burgers for Asia, Issei, Ginny, Aika and Tsubaki. Murayama and Katase had each opted for a shared bowl of snack foods. Shirone and Hermione both got the seafood platter. Saji had a hotdog and Kiba and Harry both chose to get steak with vegetables.

After dinner was finished he got onto the stage, boosted gear appearing in a red flash.

"BAKA HENTIA OPPAI DRAGON!" Luna roared, tossing her spoon at the offending gear.

[AHH! HEY I'M JUST HERE TO HELP TRANSLATE!] Ddraig cried in panic. [Ophis convinced me to convince Issei to sing a song from the realm of Nirn, a world she apparently likes.]

"Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin, naal ok zin los vahriin,  
Wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal!  
Ahrk fin norok paal graan fod nust hon zindro zaan,  
Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!

Huzrah nu, kul do od, wah aan bok lingrah vod,  
Ahrk fin tey, boziik fun, do fin gein!  
Wo lost fron wah ney dov, ahrk fin reyliik do jul,  
Voth aan suleyk wah ronit faal krein

Ahrk fin zul, rok drey kod, nau tol morokei frod,  
Rul lot Taazokaan motaad voth kein!  
Sahrot Thu'um, med aan tuz, vey zeim hokoron pah,  
Ol fin Dovahkiin komeyt ok rein!

Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin, naal ok zin los vahriin,  
Wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal!  
Ahrk fin norok paal graan fod nust hon zindro zaan,  
Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!

Ahrk fin Kel lost prodah, do ved viing ko fin krah, Tol fod zeymah win kein meyz fundein!  
Alduin, feyn do jun, kruziik vokun staadnau,  
Voth aan bahlok wah diivon fin lein!

Nuz aan sul, fent alok, fod fin vul dovah nok,  
Fen kos nahlot mahfaeraak ahrk ruz!  
Paaz Keizaal fen kos stin nol bein Alduin jot,  
Dovahkiin kos fin saviik do muz!

Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin, naal ok zin los vahriin,  
Wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal!  
Ahrk fin norok paal graan fod nust hon zindro zaan Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!" Issei sung, his voice course by the end of it from the gutteral language. Only Saji and Ophis seemed to understand it in this form then Ddraig began to sing in the same epic tune Issei had somehow managed.

[ Dragonborn, Dragonborn by his honor is sworn To keep evil forever at bay!  
And the fiercest foes rout when they hear triumph's shout,  
Dragonborn, for your blessing we pray!]

Hearken now, sons of snow, to an age, long ago and the tale, boldly told, of the one!  
Who was kin to both wyrm and the races of man with a power to rival the sun

And the Scrolls have foretold of black wings in the cold,  
that when brothers wage war come unfurled!  
Alduin, Bane of Kings,  
ancient shadow unbound,  
with a hunger to swallow the world!

But a day, shall arise,  
when the dark dragon's lies,  
will be silenced forever and then!  
Fair Skyrim will be free from foul Alduin's maw!

Dragonborn, Dragonborn by his honor is sworn To keep evil forever at bay!  
And the fiercest foes rout when they hear triumph's shout,  
Dragonborn, for your blessing we pray!]  
Ddraig finished on a low note.

Ophis clapped the loudest despite her blank expression. "Trigon owes two septims"

"Who?" Harry asked in confusion.

"Minor demon god. A small nuisance really." Luna waved it off.

"Next song of the Night goes to Kiba Yuuto singing, Staying alive!" Donkey called, reading off the cards Shrek left down.

Many were shocked Kiba would choose that song even more so as he began to dance as he sung.

"Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,  
I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.  
Music loud and women warm,  
I've been kicked around since I was born.

And now it's all right. It's OK.  
And you may look the other way.  
We can try to understand The New York Times' effect on man.

Whether you're a brother Or whether you're a mother,  
You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.  
Feel the city breakin'  
And everybody shakin',  
And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.  
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.  
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.

Well, now, I get low and I get high,  
And if I can't get either, I really try.  
Got the wings of heaven on my shoes.  
I'm a dancin' man and I just can't lose.

You know it's all right. It's OK.  
I'll live to see another day.  
We can try to understand The New York Times' effect on man.

Whether you're a brother Or whether you're a mother,  
You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.  
Feel the city breakin'  
And everybody shakin',  
And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.  
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.  
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.

Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me.  
Somebody help me, yeah.  
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me, yeah.  
Stayin' alive.

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,  
I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.  
Music loud and women warm,  
I've been kicked around since I was born.

And now it's all right. It's OK.  
And you may look the other way.  
We can try to understand The New York Times' effect on man.

Whether you're a brother Or whether you're a mother,  
You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.  
Feel the city breakin'  
And everybody shakin',  
And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.  
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.  
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.

Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me.  
Somebody help me, yeah.  
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me, yeah.  
I'm stayin' alive.

Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me.  
Somebody help me, yeah.  
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me, yeah.  
I'm stayin' alive.

Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me.  
Somebody help me, yeah.  
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me, yeah.  
I'm stayin' alive.

Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me.  
Somebody help me, yeah.  
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me, yeah.  
I'm stayin' alive."

By the end of it, Tsubaki, Katase and Murayama were squeeling like fangirls making Harry and Kiba shudder slightly, each casting sympathetic looks at the other.

"Let's hand it to Kiba! Next song of the Night goes to Gabrielle singing Angel with a shorgun!" Shrek called, having finished putting the dishes in the dish washer. The irony wasn't lost on anyone who all snickered slightly.

Gabrielle, somewhat nervously walked upto the stage annoyed she let her mum pick her music while many were shocked she'd even do it.

"(I'm an angel with a shotgun, shotgun, shotgun An angel with a shotgun, shotgun, shotgun)

Get out your guns, battles begun Are you a saint, or a sinner?  
If loves a fight, than I shall die With my heart on a trigger

They say before you start a war You better know what you're fighting for Well baby, you are all that I adore If love is what you need, a soldier I will be

I'm an angel with a shotgun Fighting til' the wars won I don't care if heaven won't take me back I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe Don't you know you're everything I have?  
And I, wanna live, not just survive, tonight

Sometimes to win, you've got to sin Don't mean I'm not a believer And major Tom, will sing along Yeah, they still say I'm a dreamer

They say before you start a war You better know what you're fighting for Well baby, you are all that I adore If love is what you need, a soldier I will be

I'm an angel with a shotgun Fighting til' the wars won I don't care if heaven won't take me back I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe Don't you know you're everything I have?  
And I, wanna live, not just survive, tonight

Oh, oh whoa whoa oh whoa

I'm an angel with a shotgun Fighting til' the wars won I don't care if heaven won't take me back

I'm an angel with a shotgun Fighting til' the wars won I don't care if heaven won't take me back I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe Don't you know you're everything I have?  
(I'm an angel with a shotgun)  
And I, want to live, not just survive, tonight (Live, not just survive)

And I'm gonna hide, hide, hide my wings tonight

They say before you start a war You better know what you're fighting for Well baby, you are all that I adore If love is what you need, a soldier I will be..."

Everyone cheered loudly for Gabrielle making her blush especially when she noticed Harry was clapping the loudest. He really liked her singing, only her mum ever praised her for singing songs like that. Perhaps this was why her mum wanted her and Harry together...

"The second last song of the Night is who are you again miss?" Donkey asked a red haired girl in a red jumper, Shenron adorning the back.

"Red."

"BAKA RED!" Ophis raged at the other dragon god, Luna holding her back in fear of ending the world.

Red however ignored her and continued to the stage before she began to sing.

"I will run, I will climb, I will soar

I'm undefeated, ooh

Jumping out of my skin, pull the chord

Yeah I believe it, ooh

The past, is everything we were

Don't make us who we are

So I'll dream, until I make it real

And all I see is stars

It's not until you fall that you fly

When your dreams come alive you're unstoppable

Take a shot, chase the sun

Find the beautiful

We will glow in the dark

Turning dust to gold

And we'll dream

It possible

Possible, ooh

And we'll dream

It possible

I will chase, I will reach, I will fly

Until I'm breaking, Until I'm breaking

Out of my cage, like a bird in the night

I know I'm changing, I know I'm changing

In, into something big

Better than before

And if it takes, takes a thousand lives

Then it's worth fighting for

It's not until you fall that you fly

When your dreams come alive you're unstoppable

Take a shot, chase the sun

Find the beautiful

We will glow in the dark

Turning dust to gold

And we'll dream

It possible, ooooh

It possible, oh, ooh

From the bottom to the top

We're sparking wild fire's

Never quit and never stop

The rest of our lives

From the bottom to the top

We're sparking wild fire's

Never quit and never stop

It's not until you fall that you fly

When your dreams come alive you're unstoppable

Take a shot, chase the sun

Find the beautiful

We will glow in the dark

Turning dust to gold

And we'll dream

It possible

Possible, ooh

And we'll dream

It possible"

When she finished she bowed before vanishing with a burst of red, leaving a fuming Ophis behind.

"BAKA RED! INFINITE IS BETTER THAN DREAM!" Ophis shouted in anger. Only a kiss from harry silenced her.

Shrek sweat dropped. "Finally, Harry Potter and Asia Argent singing Blood Gulch Blues!"

Issei cowered under Rias's glare, she really didn't like that he introduced Asia to that show, she set all the phone tones on her mobile to the wartho-puma...music.

"Roses are Red And Violets are Blue One day we'll cruise down Blood Gulch avenue It's Red vs Red And Blue vs Blue It's I against I And Me against You

Violets are Blue Roses are Red Living like this we were already dead

Hop in my car It don't have any doors It's built like a cat It lands on all fours My cars like a puma It drives on all fours~~~~~" the finished with Asia pulling a large grin that made even Shirone smile back.

"And that concludes Friday night Karaoke! Have a fine evening, we hope to see you again oh and Ophis my wife says 'hi'" Donkey called. Ophis nodded once, she was occasional friends with Desmith, the dragon Donkey married.

"Want me to walk you two home?" Harry asked Katase and Murayama.

"Sure, kinda dark out there, don't wanna get mugged without our Boken." Murayama stated, Katase agreed and they soon left the bar, not noticing a crazed blond exorcist following them.

End.

Yeah shit gonna happen. Should Freed kill one of the girls, both or none? Also what will harry do? Kill him, stun him or try to blow his leg off? 


	13. Chapter 13

Devil x witchery

Chapter 12: Shitty Priest

The town was quiet. Nobody was around and a crescent moon hung in the sky illuminating the city in a soft silver glow. A trio of people walked towards the east housing suburbs, laughing about the night they just had.

"So, what's it like, you know, being a devil?" Katase asked curiously.

"Uh, well, wings took time to get used to, magic isn't new to me though." Harry replied, scratching the back of his head. "I have noticed though my magic is a bit off, my patronus now is a Nandu for some reason."

"A what?" Murayama asked.

"A African monster cat that spits acid a and it's breath kills everything." Katase replied, tucking her pink hair behind her ear. "I used to like dungeons and dragons when I was little." She shrugged in explanation.

"Not that, what's a patronus?" Murayama asked.

"It's a manifestation of your soul into a metaphysical animal that is used to fend off soul eating things such as Dementors, Demons and Lethifolds." Harry replied, he hated dementors.

"Dementor?" Murayama muttered in confusion.

"A soul sucking wraith like thing that forces you to relive your worst memories." Harry replied somberly.

"And a fitting demon for a shitty devil as yourself!" A voice cackled as Harry felt a barrier go up. They spun around to see a blond spikey haired priest holding a golden gun and the hilt to a light sword jump down from a nearby roof. He recognised the design too, it was the 5th model developed by Michael which Luna had a version of on her at all times to hit Ddraig and deter Riser.

"Fuck." Harry growled. "Girls, run. Now."

"Like hell we'll leave you potter-kun." Katase growled, getting into a fighting stance. "You can't take him alone."

"It's suicide." Murayama agreed.

"Heretic bitches!" Freed spat. "Siding with a devil and the false god!"

"Hey! Don't bad mouth Luna!" Harry snapped.

"The false god is a whore! God is DEAD!" Freed roared, spit flying from his mouth.

[Oh Hell NO! THUNDER!] Lily snarled, a blue and gold gauntlet in simular design to the boosted gear appeared on Harry's left arm, a dagger adorned with a ruby in the crossguard glinted in the light.

Freed laughed loudly. He found it to be a joke when he noticed the small dagger, after all, if you too carried a sword and were fighting a kid with a dagger, wouldn't you too?

[BOOST!] A draconic voice rang out. Freed was shocked to see another sacred gear user. But laughed at the sight of the Twice critical on Katase's arm.

[FLASH] a third voice rang out. This time from murayama as a silver pair of thy high armored boots appeared on her legs, crackeling with electricity. Now Freed looked a bit nervous before igniting his light sword and began to cackle like mad as he charged the group, hitting Katase in the shoulder wit a light-bullet.

[THUNDER]

"Bastard!" She hissed in pain, punching him in the jaw with her gauntlet. Murayama suddenly appeared behind him and grabbed him around his coat before she spun him around, tossing him in the process but getting cut in return. The white-hot blade, slicing through her neck.

"Murayama!" Harry and Katase cried in sorrow as she dropped to the ground, her head rolling slightly as blood steadily gushed out.

[Draw the dagger and hold it towards the sky!] Lily roared in anger, wishing she had a body still to pumble this exorcist. She rather liked Murayama and while Gabrielle was leading them through the back alleys she got to know Murayama and Katase a bit and both reminded her of old friends. Alice who married Frank Longbottom and Saline who married Xenophilluis Lovegood, Luna's host parents. When Harry did as she said, she cried out, [THUNDERCATS HO~~~!" Red lightning struck the dagger as it turned into a broadsword with black thorn-like crossguards and a big-cat's head mid roar was imprinted upon the ruby in black and energy crackled around it in a frenzy.

Freed cackled like a madman and charged right for Harry, his gun soon disarmed by a wandless Expelliamus from harry as their blades clashed.

[THUNDER] Lily cried once more resulting in a massive discharge of electricity sending Freed flying a few meters where he skidded to a stop, picking up his gun as he went. He fired off another shot, this time, hitting harry in his leg. He dropped to his knee, crying in agony, it was about as painful as Basilisk venom and his scar burning at the same time. He didn't even notice his sacred gear and sword dispell during his pain. Freed fired another shot. Hitting Katase in her leg as she tried to rush at him. She fell over screaming in pain.

Harry gritted his teeth and raised his shaking hand.

"Oh? Pleeding for mercy shitty-devil?" Freed taunted snidely.

"BOMBARDA!" Harry roared, the explosion spell hitting Freed in his leg. The rogue exorcist cried in agony as his leg was violently blasted into bits.

"You'll pay for that!" Freed roared before dropping a small orb. With a flash of white light, he was gone.

"M-murayamaaaa," katase sobbed in dispair, hugging the severed head of her best friend against her chest.

[Harry, get out your [KNIGHT] piece, I know you don't like it but it's the only way to save her.] Lily instructed softly.

"Katase, p-put her head on her neck. I-I can save her." Harry choked up. He didn't know Murayama as long as Katase had but he did enjoy being around them both, it'd be like if Hermione were to die two days after they first became friends.

"H-how?" She sniffed.

"With this." He stated holding up the knight piece which looked a miniature version of the Knight statue he faced during his first year on the giant chess board. "I can bring her back, but only as a devil." He finished softly.

Katase sniffed sadly as she whipped her tears away before nodding softly. She could barely bring herself to speak right now. "M-me too." She croaked.

"Are you sure?" Harry asked. Katase nodded in response, placing her friend's head back in place. He absently sent a healing spell at her closing her wounds, knowing that Light bullets dissolve once they are fired so there'd be no obstruction.

Harry gulped nervously as he placed the [KNIGHT] piece onto Murayama's chest. "In the name of House Lilith of the 72 Pillars of the underworld, I Harry Potter hereby command you Murayama Hikito to be reborn and rejoice in your new life as my [KNIGHT] so I command, so Mote it be!" He chantend. The piece glowed Avada Kadavar green as it sunk into her chest, the head didn't reattach.

"Katase, I'm so-" Harry was cut off by a gasp for air. They looked down to see that while her head wasn't attached, she was breathing and a small AK green fire was seen spouting from her neck while her head emmited a soft sigh. "EH?!"

[Only you Harry could accidentally make a Dullahan.] Lily lamented with a chuckle.

"What?" Harry asked.

"A headless horseman." Katase supplied. "...or horsewoman in this case." She sighed.

"Sorry." Harry gulped nervously.

"It's...okay. At least she's alive." Katase sighed.

"It's not far to where I'm staying. Come on." Harry offered, hefting the girl's body up into a bridal carry while Katase carried her head. He absently waved his hand at the puddles of blood with a "SCROUGIFY" before heading off down an alleyway towards Issei's home. Explanations tomorrow would be killer. Tonight however, he was tired. 


	14. Chapter 14

Devil x witchery

WARNING! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS LIMES AND SEXUAL SITUATIONS. THIS IS YOUR ONE WARNING.

Chapter 13: A Monster's new life

Harry was snoring softly, naked and flat on his back, the removed head of Murayama gently cradled in his hands, her naked body next to him, Katase next to the body, also naked. This was the sight Hitori walked into in the morning, her eye twitched. Naked teens, Check. Dead body with fire from the neck, Check. Severed head, Check. Lack of blood and blood stains, Check. Someone else's job, defiantly. With that she walked out. It was too early for the supernatural in her opinion

"Mmm. Huh?" Murayama yawned, her body sitting up and stretching like she did every day. It was then she noticed the contradictory sensations she was getting. Her head was lying down, as she could see the roof, yet she was also sitting up. "AGH!" She groaned, already motion sick.

"Oh, morning." Harry yawned, sitting up.

"WHAT THE HECK?!" She yelped. Katase groaned and rolled over, hugging the pillow tighter.

Harry turned her head around so he could look her in the eyes. "Murayama, good morning."

"Potter, what is going on?" Murayama gulped.

"What do you remember?" He asked softly.

"That jerk who shot us, I pulled him back... Then pain?" She asked herself, her body rubbing it's neck reflexively.

Harry nodded. "Murayama, you died." He told her gently. She gasped, eyes going wide. "I reincarnated you as a Devil, my [KNIGHT] to be exact. Look, I refuse to treat you as a servent. You're a friend before any of that."

"O-okay, is that why I'm disoriented?" She asked. Harry winced. "What? What happened?"

"You were decapitated. I may of accidentally made you into a dullahan though." Harry gulped nervously.

"W-where's my body?" She stuttered. Harry turned her head so she could see. She instantly turned bright red, her arms moved to cover herself. "WHY AM I NAKED?! GOD WH-OUCH!"

"Sorry. You were still hurt pretty bad and there's only so much human magic could fix, I had to finish the process with devil magic which requires full skin contact to be effective." Harry explained. "Katase also decided to help, used up all her newly formed reserves so she'll be out of it for a while."

"How could she help?" Murayama asked, still blushing bright red.

"She decided to become my [ROOK] to stay close to you." Harry stated gently.

"Er, could you turn around so I could get dressed please?" Murayama blushed.

"Uh, sure, just call if you need help." Harry smiled as he placed her head on the cabinet facing her body before grabbing out his clothes for the day and closing himself in the ajoined bathroom. It wasn't even five minutes later of hearing constant bumps and whacks, did Murayama call him. Katase was now drooling onto the mattress, somehow cacooned in the pillows and blanket. Murayama's head had fallen on the side and her body was still naked, clothes were everywhere.

"Uh, d-do you t-think y-you can help?" Murayama stuttered.

"Uh, sure." Harry blushed.

"The pink pair on the end of the bed please." Murayama muttered with a bright blush. Harry nodded and adjusted her head so she was right side up again. He then picked up the pink panties and turned to her body which was trying to ballance on one leg. With a sigh he helped her get one leg in the thin fabric garment then the other before pulling the thin piece of cloth up, accidentally brushing her crotch in the process. Her face burnt bright red and he body went stiff as the green fire from her neck spiked wildly, shooting upwards in a large jet, touching but not burning the roof. She bit her lip as Harry backed up in shock before she let out a moaned "Mwaaaaaa." as he legs rubbed together longingly.

"S-sorry!" Harry yelped.

"Hnnn. S-so nice." Murayama drooled as her body lunged at harry, knocking him over and straddling him just as the door opened revealing Sirius and Hermione.

"WELL DONE PUP!" Sirius cheered gleefully.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" Hermione hissed possessively.

"S-so warm." Murayama moaned as harry tried to push her body off, unfortunately, he chose the worst possible place to put his hands in his rush, her breasts making her moan loudly.

"MURAYAMA! SNAP OUT OF IT!" Harry cried. He didn't want Hermione to beat him up or hurt her feelings, nor did he want Murayama to do anything she'd regret later.

"Shush." Katase groaned, pulling Murayama's body away, using it as a large pillow. Snuggeling into her breasts.

"KYAAAAAAA!" Murayama squeaked loudly as she came. Katase ignorant of what she did.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER WHAT DID YOU TWO DO?" Hermione whispered harshly, her ears flat in anger.

"She needed help getting dressed." Harry gulped. "Next thing I know she pounced on me."

"Damned devil labido." Sirius chuckled, shaking his head. "I'm surprised you aren't like Issei by this point Harry."

"Oh please Sirius he gets that from you." Hermione scoffed as harry quickly left the room. "Come on Murayama, let's get you dressed." She sighed in resignation. Her only response was a satisfied giggle from the severed head.

When harry entered the kitchen he wasn't surprised to see Ophis sitting there eating a stack of pancakes with gusto. Asia had a much small amount of 2 pancakes and was eating at a leisurely pace while Ginny wasn't there, having gone home with Akeno and Aika. Hitori was scolding Issei for not giving her grandchildren yet, especially since he had a small harem. Harry rolled his eyes at that, only Sirius's family could be so perverted.

"My mate." Ophis greeted between pancakes.

"Morning Ophis." Harry smiled tiredly as Ophis placed half of her pancakes on a plate for him.

"Eat. Get strong to help family." Ophis stated bluntly before going back to her pancakes.

Fifteen minutes later Luna stumbled in wearing a rather odd set of robes that wouldn't be out of place on Dumbledor if he wore only white, highly unlikely though that was. She stole a pancake from the stack before sitting down, looking exhausted.

"Baka pope." Luna moaned tiredly.

"baka god." Ophis replied stoically.

"What happened?" Hitori asked through a yawn, she'd been up since 5 in the morning to get breakfast ready from scratch, accommodating for both Ophis and Issei's appitites.

"Took a whole hour to convince him who I was, then another hour trying to convince him to agree to the treaty then a further four to get him to help reveal about the existence of supernatural to the world." Luna yawned tiredly.

"What about the statue of secrecy?!" Harry gaped.

"None in this world." Luna waved him off. "We all just hide out of fear of what would happen. Devils from the church, Angels from scientists and anarchists and Yokai from the human militaries."

"My mate, want hug." Ophis stated, climbing onto Harry's lap.

"Oh, reminds me. Harry since you're staying in Gremory territory you and your peerage need to be present next weekend at the school, it's where the official treaty will be signed." Luna replied absently, her mouth full.

"Why?" He asked curiously.

"Your one of the 72 pillars and my friend, of course you'd have to come." Luna waved it off. "There may also be a marriage contract me and your drunken mother set up."

"WHAT?!" Harry coughed.

"Careful." Ophis stated, rubbing his back.

"Devine contracts can't be broken, blame your mother." Luna shrugged. "It's why I want you and Gabrielle to get along. My eldest daughter and her elder son were to be married. You are her first son Harry."

[Not-my-fault!] Lilly yelped quickly.

"Why me?" Harry groaned, his head rolling forwards.

"There's also one between you and someone named Serafall." Luna added 'helpfully'. "I found it when seeing if you had an escape clause Harry as I know how you and Ginny felt. Sadly this one doesn't have one either, the last head of House Lilith set up by your deceased Nephew and the previous lord Sitri to wed the strongest daughter of house Sitri to the lord Lilith kinda fell to you and Serafall as the current lord Sitri had no daughters or Nieces, so its fallen to the next generation meaning Serafall and Sona."

"My mate's harem." Ophis stated, having stolen half of Harry's breakfast.

"Ouch! Ow! Yow! Eep!" A voice yelped. They soon saw Murayama's head tumbeling down the stairs before she landed upside down under the chair. "Uh, help?"

"Sure." Harry replied, picking her head up and holding it in place on the table.

"Thanks. Uh, how do I eat now?" Murayama asked as Hermione and a still groggy Katase guided her body to the table, Katase also carrying a small pillow.

[Like normal or if you don't want to taste it, shovel it into your neck.] Lily spoke up. They all looked at the materialized sacred gear as Lily spoke as that was essentially her new 'body'.

"Really? Huh neat." Murayama smiled as Katase put the pillow under her head. "Ahhh, so soft. Uh, what do I do about my parents?" She asked nervously.

"Uh, tell the truth obviously." Hermione stated. "We heard what Luna said, the world will soon know about us."

"Does that mean I can have my wings out?" Asia asked curiously. "I like my wings they're so soft."

"I don't see why not. The news was live at the time so I'm sure it's all over the world by now." Luna shrugged tiredly. "I'm going for a nap." With that she stumbled upstairs to sleep.

"Issei! Let's go to the Arcade!" Asia giggled, dragging the young [PAWN] out the front door.

"Oh young love." Hitori sighed whimsically with her hands clasped over her chest.

"Heh and here I was thinking you'd gotten over that stage." Sirius chuckled as he entered the room, dressed up in a suit. "I'm off. Merlin I hate these meetings, why couldn't they schedule them on Wednesday?" He complained before stuffing a pancake in his mouth and walking out the front door.

End.

How should people react to Luna's announcement? Feel free to even make up a newspaper segment on it if you like. Who else should join Harry's peerage asides Katase, Murayama, Hermione and Kuroka? 


	15. Chapter 15

Devil x witchery

This chapter, upon advice from a reviewer introduces another Anime that I know a enough about to include it, and as you can geuss from the chapter title, it's Hellsing.

Chapter 14: Judas Priest junior [2 hours after breakfast, 1:30 hours after nap, England]

Luna was amused. Wether that was a good thing or not was up for debate. Standing in front of her was one Vlad Tepes, The bloody count, The Impailer, Dracula, and more recently Alucard. The psychotic vampire was grinning like a fool, his red eyes gleemed behind his antique orange glassed sunglasses and under the shadow of his red wide brimmed hat. His red cloak and white shirt boldly displaying an inverted crucifix hanging above his tie. His white dress gloves adorned in a sealing rune grid each. Asides him was an elderly tanned woman with wireframe glasses much like Harry's pair, her hair was much like hers, long and silvery blond. She wore a simple black suit which had no decoration or emblems belying her true status asides the Hellsing seal on the cigar she was smoking.

Luna bowed slightly towards the count and said in Romanian, "It is good to meet you son of the dragon once more, especially since you and my ex had your deal."

Alucard gave a loud booming laugh, patting her head affectionately. "It is good to see you too god." He stated in English. Sir Integra winsgate Hellsing coughed in shock, dropping her cigar.

"God?! This is God?" Integra sputtered in shock. "Alucard this better not be a joke."

"Oh, he is quite serious, allow me to formally introduce myself Integra. I am God, I shall not give my true name as it holds power in of itself, however, most people know me by Luna Silene Lovegood. I must insist you stop smoking though, you only have two years left in you." Luna stated seriously, quite a drastic change from the girl who appeared in the middle of her office and skipped towards her desk, humming a chearful tune. Integra quickly stubbed out her cigar. "As to why I haven't been more involved, my power isn't about fine strokes, it's be a bit like using a nuke to open a tin of beans it gets the job done but the collateral is massive." She shrugged cheerfully.

"Then why now? Millennium is gone, Alucard and Seras are the last true vampires and England has been peaceful." Integra stated, rather confused.

"I forgave him." Luna smiled softly, a smile that was aimed at Alucard. "It's taken some time but, I geuss I finally learnt how to be...human."

"So, you returned him to this world, when I have but two years left, how I missed him." Integra lamented softly.

"I can give you more time Integra, I know you saw him as a second Father figure after your real Father's death." Luna revealed gently, the small smile growing slightly as she spoke. "I have a friend, he is a devil yes but much like Seras, is one of the most human monsters I know."

"How so god?" Alucard asked casually grinning like a Cheshire cat at the fact Integra saw him as a second father.

"He was raised in a place worse than the underworld." Luna muttered sadly as tears fell from her eyes, softly hitting the mahogony floor. "He was treated like a slave would be in one of your dungeons Vlad."

At that Alucard looked murderous. He LOATHED child abuse which is why when he found Nazi monstrosities eating children, he let loose all one million of his captured souls upon them, none of them were safe and only two survived that night. A lunatic known as the Major and a female SS officer known as Rip van Hinkle.

"Even so, how could he help?" Integra asked seriously.

"He's a high class Devil. He could give you a new life." Luna offered. "In exchange for youth you'd technically be his servent, however I know for certain he'd not treat you like one."

"This seems too good to be true. All I had left was this old mansion and Seras until Alucard came back." Integra coughed harshly at the end, her old age had been catching up to her the past three years and even she would admit it was probably due to her smoking habits.

"The only catch is you'd no longer be human Integra, you'd be a Devil. Hellsing has no true purpose anymore, most modern non-human attacks get handled by their own kind, The other factions or even the occasional Magical girl, oh note to self, kill that stupid cat thing." Luna noted absently, that pain in the ass had been the cause of great annoyance in another reality she had once been to and resulted in a giant demonic Witch forming numerous times. "Anyway, you are right, you just have Seras, Vlad and your mansion left, I know you may think of yourself beyond your prime but my friend Harry could give you back the childhood you never had but always wanted."

"I won't regret this, will I?" Integra asked warily.

"Not in the slightest outside of the smoking age laws." Luna shook her head.

"Seras!" Integra called. A few seconds later a blond vampire woman with a chest to rivel Akeno's blurred through a wall, gasping upon seeing her old Master.

"Master!" She called cheerfully, bouncing up and down on her toes, her old uniform held true if a bit faded from over the years. "You grew a mustache!" She giggled.

Alucard smiled at that. He did enjoy the scatter brained comments she'd make from time to time and he had missed her. "Police girl...no, Seras, it is good to see you again." She beemed at her master, he'd never called her Seras before, only ever Police Girl or Fledgeling.

"If I accept this deal, what will happen?" Integra asked.

"I'll get some supernatural movers to relocate the mansion to Kouh in Japan, it's where my friend lives for now though he is English." Luna explained, deliberately missing out the different Dimensional part, she didn't want that circulated through the human world for another three generations or so. "He'd let you join his peerage and you could live out your life with Seras, Vlad and whoever else you wanted."

"You'd throw away your beauty for us?" Alucard asked, gesturing to Seras then to himself. He always was adament that age was true beauty, not eternal youth or immortality.

"To have more time with you both. No matter how large a headache you can be, you're family, both of you and I'd gladly rend my body to dust to spend even one more extra day with you." Integra admitted. "Seras, grab your bags. We're moving to Japan."

"What's the true reason?" Integra asked once Seras had left.

"That was the true reason, although Alucard, it appears a certain bayonett wielding exorcist from my church had a son who went rogue and needs to be put down." Luna put straight to the point, a dangerous look in her eye.

"So the Judas priest has a son. Ha! Judas Priest Junion. Here. I. Come." Alucard let loose a long haunting laugh that echoed through the empty old mansion, the storm outside seeming to grow more violent as his laughter rang out.

End.

Peerage.

King: Harry

Queen: Hermione.

Bishop: Kuroka

Bishop: Open

Knight: Murayama

Knight: Open

Rook: Hitori

Rook: Katase

Pawn (x8): Open

Now, which open position should Integra fall into and will young Integra have a love interest in someone, also would Alucard and/or Seras join and if so which Piece would they be and is it a mutation piece? 


	16. Chapter 16 LEMON WARNING

Devil x witchery

Chapter 15: devils and lemons

[WARNING! THIS CHAPGER CONTAINS LEMONS!]

[1 hour after Breakfast with Asia and Issei]

Like most days, Asia seemed to draw attention to herself without even trying, normally it was for her cute looks and the fact she dragged Issei around like a small puppy. Today however, it was looks of disbelief and shock as she literally flew along with her devil wings out for all to see. Issei, was barely able to keep up with her as she had gotten a lot better at flying, no longer randomly falling and landing on him. This was also due to the fact, issei was on foot, his wings a bit too large due to Ddraig's influence to use on the sidewalk.

"No way!" A firmulular voice gawked. It was Matsuda and surprisingly he was alone." She's a literal devil! Issei you been holding out!" He complained loudly, gripping at his bald head.

"Not again." Asia gulped, hiding behind Issei, Matsuda always stalked her and Koneko at school and neither liked it.

"Come on, leave Asia alone Matsuda." Issei groaned. "We're just going to the arcade for some games we don't have time for this."

"Don't have time for such a cutey?!" The perverted baldy gaped in horror. "DUDE! YOU SOLD YOUR SOUL FOR HER AND DONT HAVE THE TIME?!"

"HEY!" Asia snapped. "Ise never sold his soul! He saved me from being killed and is my first true friend you baka-baldy!"

"Besides, the notion we collect souls is based on the racist views of Michael, who severely ticked god off." Issei shrugged. "Tho, who'd want to annoy such a cute Loli god is-"

Suddenly a large pot fell on his head. "BAKA OPPAI HENTIA DEVIL!" was heard from the shimmering blue portal as people gawked. "I. AM. NOT. A. LOLI!"

"Noted." Issei groaned, slumped onto the floor in pain.

"Sorry Lady Luna. He didn't mean it." Asia explained with a nod.

"Better be." The voice huffed. "Keep an eye on him okay Asia, got to find an annoying count right now."

"Yes god!" She beamed brightly to the shock of everyone as the portal closed up. "Come on, I'll fix it." She giggled, running her now glowing green hand across his scalp.

"Thanks Asia." Issei sighed. People were gawking even more now and a few had even recorded the events since Matsuda had becried Issei being unfair.

[HAHA! ONLY YOU PARTNER!] Ddraig laughed aloud making some people look around for the voice.

"Stupid dragon." Issei muttered darkly.

"Come on, I wanna see if I can beat you at that space game again!" Asia giggled, dragging Issei away again. "Huh, someone must be having a burnt BBQ." She uttered, looking at the small plume of black smoke as it rose in the sky.

[Moments earlier with Sirius]

"Stupid rasafrassing radio." Sirius growled, kicking the offending device in his car. "Why! Won't! You! Work! Bah! REPARO!" Nothing. "REPARO MAXIMA!" With that it was once again proved why magic and technology generally don't work together. His radio broke even more and the bonnet of his car flew open, black smoke gushing everywhere as his breaks applied with full force. He smacked his head into the steering wheel, groaned in pain. "I blame prongslett."

[With Harry and Murayama at the same time]

Harry very suddenly sneezed scaring the heck out of Murayama who had remained crimson with embarrassment from earlier. Her hands fumbleing with her head slightly in her shock.

"Sorry." Harry apologized simply.

"I-It's okay." Murayama stuttered with a blush.

"L-look, about er earlier." Harry blushed with a stammer.

"N-no, it's okay." Murayama interrupted him, a hand raised to silence him. "It was an accident and to be honest...I kinda liked it." She blushed a deeper red.

"Mine." Ophis stated from across the table, STILL eating. "Magic-cat and my mate..." She blinked blanly while looking at murayama. "...you, not mate...yet."

"Eh?!" Murayama sputtered in shock.

"Ophis, what does that mean?" Hermione asked, her tail swaying violently.

"...dullahan needs time." Ophis replied, finishing off the final pancake moments later. "Our mate is strong. Strong beings have harems."

"IT'S BAD ENOUGH WITH YOU, GABRIEL AND SERAFALL!" Hermione yowled loudly, her tail bristled and her eyes alert.

"No fighting." Hitori snapped from the lounge room. "We do NOT need another after the other day!"

Hermione had the decency to blush at that. She had gotten into a fight with Ophis on Wednesday after school about who got to sit on Harry's lap and they'd torn the couch to shreds in the process. It was fixed after by Ginny but it still annoyed Hitori to no end.

"I am not Alpha. You are." Ophis stated, staring at Hermione without blinking. "You were first."

"Well she does have a point." Murayama shrugged minutely as to not disturb her head which was quite comfortable at the moment and she had to abandon the pillow once her jaw got cramped from trying to talk while sitting on it. "You have known him longer."

"Don't I get a say?" Harry asked.

His resounding response from all present and Hitori was a simple "NO!" Lily gave a soft snort, having fallen asleep a few minutes ago.

[Lunch time, 4 hours later]

Things had finally calmed down around the house. Harry and Hitori had made lunch while Asia and Issei had opted to get burgers again with Ginny, Aika and Akeno. Rias and Koneko were out dealing with contracts and Kiba was at the mall shopping for new clothes as he had a tendency to get them cut up in fights against strays. Katase had opted to help Hermione with the salad while Harry was teaching Hitori different English food. Currently they were making Yorkshire puddings with left over beef from last night as the filling.

Matsuda was still trying to attach the old baby carrier harness to her chest with a third person view and needless to say she was annoyed at it. It was Ophis's idea, using the harness to Carry her head so her hands would be free, she'd apparently got the idea from a Dullahan she saw in Tokyo once.

"Lunch is ready!" Harry called happily as he pulled the puddings from the oven and began to plate it up with the beef and Salad.

Ophis as usual ate an insanely large serving of everything. Murayama, with her head now strapped into her harness, began to eat at a leasurly pace, enjoying the new food.

Katase and Hermione were both elated by how good Harry was at cooking with Hitori.

Half way through their meal, Hermione suddenly got up, the chair screeching against the floor, her face flushed red as she rushed upstairs. Harry was quickly after her and knocking on her door.

"Hermione, you-" harry was cut off with a yelp as he was dragged into the room, the door slammed shut and locked behind him. Silencing and locking wards soon sprang up.

[LEMON ALERT!]

Harry quickly found himself pushed down onto the bed, Hermione's lips crushed against his own, her cat ears droopy and her tail swaying seductively. "Hermi-"

[Harry, she's in heat!] Emma warned from the soft glow on her daughter's throat.

"Mine." Hermione purred around his lips, running her clawed fingers gently along his chest from under his shirt while her left hand held both of his above his head against the bed frame. "My mate." She moaned as she began to grind against him, a damn patch appearing on her jeans.

"Hermione why are you doing this?" Harry managed to get out, hissing softly as his crotch was rubbed and teased by her wet sex. He groaned as she slipped her free hand into his pants, groaping his cock.

"So warm..." Hermione moaned as she freed his erect member from his pants before giving it a lick. Harry groaned louder, the sensation overwhelming. "So good, my Harry, my mate so good." She moaned before engulfing the entire member in her mouth, her throat bulging slightly as it's length slid down.

"S-so good, 'mione." Harry moaned as she began to bob up and down, holding onto his hips as she developed a rhythm of slow steady bobs while inhaling like her life depended on it. "HERMIONE!" He cried in extocy as he came. Cum shooting down the purring nekomata's throat in thick strands leaving a sensual warmth in her stomach which pushed her over the edge, making her climax with a loud yowl. "Oh Merlin! I'm so sorry I-"

"Shh, my mate, strong mate, my harry." She uttered blissfully as she held his still erect member in her left hand, literally ripping her clothes off before ramming herself down onto his member. She hissed in pain as her ears flattened and tears leaked down her face, her tail limply flopped about.

"Hermione. Shh, it's okay. Shh." Harry sooth her, wiping away her tears. Soon she began to bounce up and down, her soft whimpers becoming moans of pleasure as she used her tail to help pull herself down to meet Harry's upward thrusts. "Oh merlin! S-so soft!"

"Yours, all yours." Hermione chanted she she quickened her pace yowling in utter pleasure, her breasts bouncing wildly as her control quickly began to slip. "Deeper! Deeper! Want kittens! Your kittens! YESSSSSSS!" She cried as they both came, she fell forward onto Harry, panting heavily as they both passed out from pleasure.

[End Lemon]

As they slept, Ophis dismantled the wards and she quickly found them, naked and sweaty, smelling of sex. She nodded to herself once with a soft smile before stripping naked and laying between the two teens. Soon her mate would be happy and then, she'd finally have a home.

[Chapter END] 


	17. Chapter 17

Poll.

Okay I know I am half way through a story right now but I would like your feedback on some ideas I have had for other stories.

Fate's a Bitch and so is her son.  
Highschool DxD and Rosario Vampire

Issei Hyoduo was always a odd child, then again when your mother is Fate that is a given. When his childhood friend Moka goes to Yokai academy he tags along, how will everything change when they meet a certain black haired devil and decide a few people need to knocked down a few pegs?

Action/supernatural/romance

Issei/sona/Moka/Tsubaki/Karuma

Yes/no?

High expectations

Highschool DxD and Percy Jackson

Issei is a pervert, that's what most people think. Really, he just wants to live up to his strict mother's high standards when all he wants is to treat people with respect, how will a certain dragon god change all of this and who is the traitor in the school?

Issei/Ophis or Artemis or Zoe Nightshade (undecided)

Adventure/supernatural/romance

Yes/No?

Unpredictable

Highschool DxD and The Elder scrolls.

Sheogorath is bored. So what is a Daedra to do? Well seal yourself into a sacred gear and give yourself to the most perverted mortal you can find for your vacation of course! Follow Issei the weilder of the one and only WABAJACK on an adventure filled with violence, lemons and cheese! Yes definitely can't forget the cheese.

Issei/harem/Nocturnal

Comedy/romance/supernatural

Yes/no?

Why so Sirius?

Harry Potter and Batman

When Sirius black fell through the veil he landed on another earth one where his favorite comic book heroes are now the bad guys! With the help of the Jester and his monkey Harleen will they stop Ultra man and save humanity?

No pairings

Action/supernatural

Yes/No? 


	18. Chapter 18 with sneak peek!

Devil x witchery

Chapter 16: An enthusiastic walk

(AN: this chapter will reference both Hellsing Abridged, Hellsing Ultimate and maybe even some other things)

Alucard grinned widely as they arrived in their new town. Seras and Integra were off with God doing something and he? Well, the sun was setting and it was time for a...enthusiastic walk about town.

"The bird of Hermes is my name," Alucard recited as he walked through the park.

"Eating my wings to keep myself tame." A woman's voice finished. "How do you know my grandfather's quote?"

"Wait, grandfather? THAT'S MY SAYING!" Alucard barked in shock at the busty black haired girl with pigtails and glasses. Asides her was a dark haired girl with braided hair and a shrike maiden outfit and a ginger girl in jeans and a purple blouse.

"Oh fuck all manner of ducks." The glasses wearing girl groaned. "My grandfather is a fucking Vampire."

"If you're going to use Fucking in my title use Crimson Fucker or Mother Fucker if you please I earned it so I damned well expect to be called it." Alucard retorted in a bored tone. "I knew that I shouldn't of banged that chick in England before the war."

"Well evidently then you'd be related to me from my dad's side." The girl sighed. "Anyway, Aika Kiriyu, Succubus at your service."

"Akeno Himijima fufufu, Devil, what a bad vampire you are not taking responsibility." Akeno giggled making Alucard grin. The girl had an S mode.

"Ginny Weasley. Witch and Phoenix." The ginger introduced in a guarded tone.

"Very well. I am Alucard, Count Vladimir Dracul Tepes." Alucard grinned, his fangs glinting in the little light available. "So, what would three non humans be doing here of all places?"

"An...enthusiastic walk." Aika grinned widely, hugging Akeno from behind. "Grandfather, meet my Mates Ginerva and Akeno."

"Heh, cute." Alucard smirked before continuing on his way. "Tell your Father I will meet with him later. I smell Vampire."

"If it's only half and from the school it's Gasper. He's harmless and honestly scared of everything." Akeno admitted. "He's a major shut-in."

"Pitty." Alucard grinned widely, his eyes glowing red with power. "That he is not what I smell."

Before any of them could answer, he was gone. "Ara ara, are we in trouble?" Akeno asked curiously.

"Yes." Ginny sighed, drooping in realisation.

[With Harry, Hermione and Ophis]

It was nearing six O'Clock when with a soft yawn Hermione woke up. She looked around blinking lazily before looking at harry. She purred softly and laid back down upon him, using his chest as a pillow while they both hugged Ophis like a small teddy bear. "My mates."

"Yours" ophis mumbled, her form unconsciously matching their age at the moment due to how strong a pull she felt towards the both of them. Her large chest was pressed into Harry's side and her legs were tangled with Hermione's. It was this situation Asia walked into. She blushed red before sighing.

"ISSEI! WE'RE GETTING NAKED!" Asia shouted loudly once rushed off. Luna and Integra who had just arrived blushed at the scene, both in lust.

"GRANDBABIES!" Hitori squealed joyfully.

[With Alucard, a few minutes later]

Alucard stopped in the midsts of utter carnage he caused in the dark warehouse. His smirk grew dangerous at the sight. Sitting opposite a small mound of half eaten nazi bodies was a fat blonde man in a white blood stained uniform, a swartzika adorning his arm.

"Gutan Notch Herr Dracula." The fat man grinned widely.

"Major. I ate you." Alucard stated bluntly.

"Ah, yez. Zat. Vell allow me to tell vou zomezing. Nazi. Devils." The fat man laughed, his head tipped back in absurdity.

"Oh? Is that all?" Alucard asked, bored.

"Vell not all ov eet." The major grinned widely. "I am vorking vith ze Khaos Brigade. Guton Notch count." The man cackled, vanishing through a devil seal. Alucard's grin became positively bloodthirsty at this.

"Nazi..."

[At Issei's house]

"...devils..." Integra deadpanned with a sigh, her appearance back to how she looked during the three day three-way war in England the last time the major reared his fat head. "So, all up, first it was Nazis, then Nazi Vampires and one Werewolf and Nekomata, now it's Nazi Devils? Christ sake Alucard no more bloody walks!"

"What can I say?" He grinned.

"Don't say it." Seras and Integra sighed.

"I take very enthusiastic walks." Alucard smirked. This ended when Seras hit him over the head with a skillet, for all the good it did, well atleast they could make Alucard face pancakes now.

"For god's-FUCK!" Integra yelped in pain.

"Sorry Integra, won't be a second." Luna stated, fiddeling with a magic circle mid air. It flashed green twice before vanishing. "There, you're free to handle Holy objects, pray or whatever. Sorry I can't do this for you harry but you never were a member of any of my churches so I can't help."

"It's okay." Harry sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "Luna, how exactly is a long dead Nazi reincarnated?"

"Could be a number of things, Death being a brat, Hades on a warpath, Great Red, Ophis, anyone of great power really." Luna sighed with a shrug. Too many variables and despite believe she was not omnipotent. They'd just have to find out in time.

End.

Okay, here's a sneak peek at Unpredictable!

Unpredictable

Chapter 1: CHEESE!

[Realm of madness]

Madness is such an interesting thing. It can make kind men cruel, dumb men smart and...oh who are we kidding?! Madness is madness! This was what was so BORING about it. There was too much structure to madness and insanity! This was the problem faced by a immortal being. His hair white and frizzy, half his suit red, the other purple, his eyes yellow and slitted and his accent, Scottish. He had many names and titles, the Mad Hatter, Sheogorath and...Ted. Yes that's right, he was also known as Ted. He sighed, sitting atop his throne as he watched the short blonde Brenton girl known as Alice the mad of Ciridel throw a sweet role at the Khajiit known as Ra'viit the white for his albino appearance. Ra'viit sputtered before throwing a dwemer gear at the keg smashing it and flinging mead all over the place.

"~BURP!~ BORING!" Sheogorath burped before groaning. They did this every other Tuesday and twice on Alice's unbirthday. "I'm SOOOO BOOORRRED!" he bemoaned.

"Oh! Oh! I know! I know!" Alice cried, jumping up and down excitedly. "Let's turn all of the swords in Riften keep into goats high on Skooma!"

"Nah, did that last Monday. Wasn't even much chaos, they just hired the Dragonborn to clean the mess up." Sheogorath sighed glumly, his chin resting in his palm.

"Make the dawmguard think they are all succubuses?" Ra'viit suggested. Sheogorath rolled his eyes, randomly firing off his Wabajack.

"I'm the prince of insanity, not cruel and unusual punishments, that would be-OOH LOOK CHEESE!" Sheogorath cut off pointing at some random butterfly that flew backwards which got turned to cheese by the Wabajack. He then looked at his staff before a torch appeared above his head. It probtly fell on it but was ignored. "I shall put myself into this! Then I shall kick myself into one of those other worlds Akatosh made and hehey presto! Fun for me and you and I and her and Thy and ooh cheese for all! Wait no, no I'll take all the cheese! No! Even better! I'll let myself serve a Pervert! They are always crazy and attract crazy people! Alice! Ra'viit! Pack your pouches and tell the others we're all going on vacation!"

[Earth, Midguard, Japan, Kouh]

Issei sighed tiredly, flopping down onto his bed. It was Sunday and tomorrow was the first day of school at his new Highschool. He had gotten kicked out of his old one due to something COMPLETELY not his fault! How was he supposed to know how the teacher turned into a bloody goat! Seriously one red flash and poof goat in a dress.

*TSHVRRRRRRMPH.*

With a solid thump something landed at the base of his bed. It was a dark wood staff with three faces of insanity carved onto the top, their mouths extended open revealing a small purple fire nestled in the middle.

"What the heck?!" Issei yelped, jumping away from the strange staff.

"Ooh! You'll do!" A scottish voice echoed. With that a purple blast flew from the staff and struck Issei in the chest, knocking him out. "Now for some tweaks. Make that perminant, add that, get rid of that and ooh! He has a Dovah in him! Ha! This! Is! Cheese!...wait...Sparta?...I mean AWESOME!"

With another flash a piece of cheese appeared on the desk and a stripe of white formed down the middle of his hair like a racing stripe on a car. He twitched, inside his mind a very interesting meeting was taking place.

[Issei's Mindscape]

Issei looked around the giant smokey blackness. Off to one side a giant red dragon was sleeping soundly, to the other three beings sitting at a long table. A white haired man in clashing clothes, a small blonde girl In a blue dress and a big bloody cat guy.

"Yep. I am going mad." Issei lamented sadly.

"No. I ain't done nothing!" The man in red and purple shouted defensively. "Anywho, I am Sheogorath Daedric prince of Madness, insanity and cheese."

"Hi!" The chippeer blonde girl laughed joyfully. "I am ALICE! HI!"

"Ra'viit is me, or is it I? Ra'viit is unsure...want some-WOLVES! I HEARD WOLVES!" The white cat-man shouted in terror, shaking in terror atop the large red dragon.

"He, is...whoever he is. I don't know that great big Dovah honestly." Sheogorath shrugged with a gesture to the large red dragon. "ANYWAY, do I have a deal for you. You can say yes or no but if you say no, I'll turn you inside out and call you Mary! Now, onto that deal, you see being a god of Madness gets pretty boring so I decided that I will stuff my soul into my staff THE WABAJACK! and give it to You. Yes you, who else is more perverted than you. Now so this isn't TOTALLY boring, I did modify what my staff does, I ain't telling you anything other than point the head at whoever you want and Poof! Enjoy the results. Sometimes it's permanent, other times its not. Completely random! Haha! Now...where was I? Oh yeah! I'll also be bringing some friends over in the next few days, carrier monkeys aren't too bright but oh well."

"So, you are putting yourself into the stick that fell on my bed?" Issei asked slowly.

Sheogorath grinned widely. "Now that, is the question." 


	19. Final

NOTICE OF PROBLEMS.

To those who have liked this story i am sad to say that this story is discontinued and is up for use as a story kick starter by anyone who is interested in it. I am truely sorry but I find it hard to continue to write these when every other comment is telling me to delete this entirely, to conform to their views of how it should work and most of all that I "need" to stick to what they think is relevant. Well screw you haters! The reason I had written about what I had was simple, I was setting up for separate arcs. For all those who were interested in this now ruined fic the general arcs are as follows:

0: introduction arc, yes I was still on this part!

1: Kokobiel Arc, would of been in the next chapter and continued for 4 or 5 parts.

2: Introduction of the Khaos Brigade and Vali who sees Harry as the biggest threat, foreshadowing the next arc. Firmilulars are gained for Harry's peerage and Hermione finally joins.

3: Master of Death arc. Harry gets visited by a Loli reaper I am sure we all know. This also introduces the remnants of Millennium as their own faction once more.

4: Homefield disadvantage arc. this arc would of been Alucard, MoD Harry and Issei fighting Millennium in Kouh while the others handled Khaos Brigade. Ending with Hitori killed by the Major before Harry reserects her.

5: Second Great War. Luna is ubducted by something (later revealed to be Great Red) and the Evil dragons begin to attack, expect something like AoT minuver gears for humans to use in fights.

6: Second Apocalypse. In this arc trihexa starts awakening and with Luna weakened from fighting Great Red she is unable to fight it properly. This would be the final arc of the story and would of ended with someone making the ultime sacrifice to stop trihexa.

So yes, thankyou to all those who decided to hate on the story for not conforming to your views you jerks! To those who were supportive I am sorry that the story had to end and if you wish to adopt it please send a message.

This is Thomas signing off on this story for the last time... 


	20. WE ARE BACK BABY!

Devil x witchery

Notes: Okay...so this series is back...too much PM pestering me about it to ignore. Also for those who were wondering yes Unpredictable will continue as a separate story. Should I have Luna break the 4th wall on that series existing or no? Also due to Request Integra isn't a Knight of the Peerage, just a very OP pawn, like Issei level OP. After all she can use Holy items, is basically the boss of Dracula and Seras who for all intents and purposes is his Daughter coupled with her Silver blessed rounds in her handgun and silver rapier and we got the ultimate "screw the rules" character.

Update on Harry's peerage as of this chapter due to changes being made.  
King: Harry J Potter (Lilith)  
Queen: Vacant: later Hermione Bishop: Vacant (2) later Kuroka and ?  
Rook: Katase vacant later Hitori Knight: Murayama: Vacant mutation.  
Pawns: Sir Integra Hellsing (7 pieces, 2 are mutations) 1 vacant (mutation)

Total mutation pieces: 4. 3 pawn and 1 Knight.

Chapter 17: School and Devils part 1

Monday had come at last and by then, news was all over the town about several student's status as non-humans. Asia was swamped over the weekend with contracts which were of an adult nature much to her distress and Issei's anger. Aika, Akeno and Ginny had to literally fly over the main gate to get past all the people trying to talk to them and ask favours. Koneko had somehow acquired a surfboard and was using it like a riot shield as she pushed through her squeeling fangirls. Issei however, seemed to have to hide behind Rias when several girls threw things at him. Murayama and Hermione had each ahold of one of Harry's arms and weren't letting him go at all as they dragged the petrified devil king through the hord of fangirls. Katase was as usual being a bit of an airhead and just accepting any numbers given to her, not that she'd do much with them. Kiba was already by the school gates, the fangirls having gotten to an unbearable level, one even offering to sacrifice a goat to him much to Issei's amusement. Integra who had gotten a job as head of campus security casually walked through, after all having two Vampires who weren't even hiding it was a major deturant.

"Alright. I am sir Integra winsgate Hellsing and head of campus security!" The blonde half indian woman shouted above the commotion. "If you don't get to class in the next five minutes and stop pestering any of the non-human students I will remove you from the grounds!"

"Thanks Integra." Hermione sighed with relief as the fangirls rushed off, making harry calm down a fair bit.

"No problem, wouldn't want my King to have a nervous breakdown, would we?" Integra nodded. "Alucard, you are to leave the students alone unless they require help or are breaking the rules. Seras, keep an eye on him."

"Yes master." Alucard smirked, sinking into his own shadow.

"Damnit Vlad." Seras groaned in annoyance as she began to sniff the air, walking towards the school in the process of following her master's scent.

When they got to History class by the second session many were shocked at how people seemed to be hating on Issei.

"I bet HE did this." One girl muttered darkly, glaring at Issei.

"Yeah, he probably corrupted them!" Another becried in horror. "He must of gotten Gremory-Sempia first for his perverted desires!"

"Poor Potter-chan!" Another cried sadly.

"Okay...that's stupid." Hermione laughed. "First off, Issei is way younger than us by two decades. Harry, Ginny, our friend Luna and myself were stuck in time for a while. Second it was Rias who got Issei and SHE is the bigger pervert."

"""" WHAT?!"""""

"True...she does have a LOT of Hentia." Katase admitted absently. "Issei just has seven or so and some posters..."

At that many guys had massive nosebleeds as well as a few of the girls imagining such a large 'collection' and one which belonged to Rias to boot. Issei however seemed to shrink in embarrassment at that. He didn't like that to be known that he was outclassed by Rias.

"Sit down." The teacher snapped, a rather large crucifix hung from her neck. Something she hadn't worn before. She kept glaring at the devils in the room and didn't let up for the entire session. She gave them harder questions, marked them harsher and picked on them for the smallest things. By the end of the first ten minutes, Hermione was outright hissing at the damned teacher, atleast their other female teachers only oggled Harry, this one was a complete and utter bitch.

"You better not be coughing up a furball Granger." The teacher snarled with distain.

"Shut-up!" Murayama shouted loudly, slamming her hands on her desk as the fire from her neck shooting higher. "I have had it with your shit so stop pestering us!"

"Yeah teach. They're not doing any harm." A guy at the back of the class called.

"I may have to teach these freaks but that doesn't mean I will treat them like human which they are not!" The teacher shouted. At that harry stiffened while Aika burst out laughing. "Oh what is it slut?!"

"You've got company." Aika laughed while many were shocked to see a man in red walk THROUGH the wall, an eat-shit grin on his face.

"You cheeky little dick-waffle." The vampire grinned widely. "You do know your Boss is a devil right? The Gym teacher, she is a Werewolf and the chemistry teacher is a hopping corpse, the head of security is a devil and the lunch lady is an Undyne... I do believe this is racial discrimination bitch towards your students no less."

"Get the fuck out of my classroom now!" The teacher snapped.

"Bitch I eat people." Alucard snarled as Seras kicked in the door, breaking the latch. "Oh police girl, here to help?"

"I heard everything and Victor Gremory is quite pissed, in fact I'm sure its only the fact Mistress is keeping him restrained that has stopped him bursting in here already and kicking your sorry ass out." Seras snarked. Most males, with the acceptions of Alucard and Harry were too busy oggeling her chest to pay much attention to her words, some of the girls too were caught looking at her chest which was comparable to Aika's.

"Could the Mrs. Cruella de Vil rip off known as Kiyomi Asenti please report to my office now." The principal's enraged voice gritted over the PA system. The teacher went stiff before sticking her nose in the air stubbornly. "And if she refuses could Campus Security please escort her here."

"Well... RUN! Restriction Art level 7 Release!" Alucard balked in shock at the Savage grin Seras gave as her left arm exploded into a miasma of red tendrils with crimson eyes everywhere. He nodded once. The battle of London making a comeback in his mind, if this was restriction level 7 released, she may be HALF as powerful as him.

"AHHHHH!" With that, the teacher fainted making Seras pout in disappointment.

[Meanwhile with Ophis]

Ophis hummed softly to herself as she sat atop the counter. Her legs swinging back and forth as she mixed a bowl of batter. She had gotten the idea from Aika. Step one, make a big cake she could fit into. Step two, hide naked in the cake. Step three jump out of the cake naked and kiss her mate. She rather liked the Idea, though she had to fend Sirius off from it a couple times. Turns out he was now jobless, Microsoft apparently didn't like the fact Sirius was a wizard or the fact he destroyed the radio in his car attempting to fix it and so he was looking for a new job.

"My mate...no baka red this time."

[Dimension gap]

A certain buxom red haired dragon girl sneezed loudly into the emptiness around her before whipping her nose with her sleeve. "Baka Ophis-chan"

End.

Okay so with this series back I would like some feedback on where to go from here as the original plan is now scrapped. For those of you still interested in Unpredictable the story is up on my profile and already has 2 chapters with the third on the way.


	21. Rewrite notice

Update and effective notice.

To those who were expecting a new chapter for Devil x Witchery I am sorry to say I've written myself into a corner via inclusion of Alucard and Luna being too OP even for a 4th wall breaking loli go- (I AM NOT A LOLI GOD! BAD BAKA HENTIA AUTHOR!)... Waif...not a loli a waif. Anyway This series is being rewritten as Devil x Witchery Resurrection. As of current time I am leaving this story up as I know some of you like to read it and to anybody interested you may adopt the story as long as you give credit where credit is due to JK Rolling, whomever owns Highschool DxD and Hellsing or whatever other anime or show you throw into the mixing pot.

During the course of the new story's development I'd love to hear back from any of you that has suggestions criticisms or questions about the series. 


	22. Rewrite preview

DxW-R

Devil x Witchery Resurrection

Okay so this is a reboot to DxW as I've written myself into a corner and realised I could of included a different cast of HP characters that would of worked out pretty well. I also got a lot of backlash for including Hellsing in this story so that has been cut but some elements may remain but not Nazi vampires, zombies or devils...too cliché.

Peerage will be as follows:

King: Harry Queen: Hermione Bishop: Susan Bones Bishop 2: ?  
Knight: Murayama Knight 2: ?  
Rook: Nymphadora Tonks Rook 2: Katase Pawn 1: Aika Pawns 5, 6, 7, 8 unknown.

Species/ Status change:  
Harry: Devil Hermione: Natural Nekomata Luna Lovegood: omnipotent 4th wall breaking loli...  
(BAD BAKA HENTIA AUTHOR! NOT A LOLI!)

Chapter 1: Flashes of the past, Armageddon.

A cracked sky was the last sight they saw as they plummeted into the void. The master of Death, the cat, the shape shifter, a necromancer and the loonatic all fell down between the gaps in the fabric of reality and dreams, a place called the void. It ate away at everything it touched, only the strongest beings were safe, and even then only barely. Its very essence making those not strong enough relive both the best and worste moments of their lives.

The loonatic's POV (Age 6)

She was happy. Mummy and daddy were happy and her friend Ginny was happy. It wasn't anything special, they were just content to run about laughing in the meadows as her parents talked by the old swing covered in flowers.

Flashforward (Age 7, 3 weeks later)

Pain. Everything hurt and a loud ringing permeated her hearing. Dust hung heavy in the air as her mummy laid motionless in front of her, her eyes glassy and her torso shredded like a wild beast savaged her from behind. Broken and twisted metal stuck out her back and her scalp as her lifeless form held her. She cried, mummy wasn't moving and there was a lot of red. She dimly heard daddy call her name as everything went black and strange things began to appear including the thing feasting on her mummy.

Flashforward (age 11, Hogwarts September 1st)

She was scared. The buzzing creatures were everywhere here too. Large sharpened proboscises cutting into ear canals driving the victims into acts of stupidity, racism and hatred. She clutched her cork necklace tighter in her small hands. Mummy had seen the monsters too, they were horrifying creatures. She knew the truth there was no hope just laughing gods amidst madness and insanity. Soon she was sorted into the cat house. She did so like cats, they chased away some of the monsters, the house even had a cat of its own who was a student. She decided she needed to befriend her, the monsters didn't dare go near the cat girl, there she could be safe.

"Hi, I'm Luna"

Necromancer POV (age 6)

She was cold. Her body unable to keep the warmth like a balloon riddled with holes trying to hold air. She didn't mind. The cold was constant. She could snap her neck again, she'd still be cold even after she was fixed. She broke a lot but her body didn't like staying broken. It fixed itself. The animals didn't like her much, only the crows and flies did. She liked the crows, they had such interesting things to say.

Flashfoward (age 11)

She fidgeted under the hat as it sorted through her thoughts, her clammy white skin having drawn attention, more than she'd like. "HUFFLEPUFF!" She gulped as she removed her hat and moved to her new table. The ghosts bowed to her in respect even as the living quickly departed the area around her. She watched the green eyed boy sit at the red bannered table next to a girl with the ears and tail of a cat.

Flash forward (age 17)

Her magic hammered like thunder in her chest as her wand was a blur, acid green and jet black bolts spitting from it's tip fast enough to make the wand glow with heat. She gritted her teeth in pain as her magic was pushed to its limit. She was still cold, the faceless wraiths brought to the school to kill her mattered little to her. They only feasted on souls of the living and were at her complete beck and call, if she so wished it they would gleefully destroy themselves. For now, they would feast on the souls of the black robed terrorists who dared challenge a Necromancer. After all, Susan wasn't a Bones for nothing. 


End file.
